Learn the value of saying no

To clarify your view of success, choose to rethink what you say. Words are power. As you think before you act, and realize limits you do or don't set, you will learn to accept responsibility for your life.  Success isn't about what you do or whom you impress, its about defining your milestones. Trust and contentment begin inside not outside yourself.

Whenever you stop taking responsibility, you succomb to temptation and wallow in excuses.  Identify your underlying motivation.  Learn to see through your own procrastination.  Find courage to face fear.  Decide you will overcome challenges.  All you have to do is look within to assess your weaknessess.  You'll discern what works. 

Recognize that saying yes is not always in your interest.  Appeasing everyone is unrealistic.  Some opportunities that present themselves will only encourage you to deviate from your path.  Do you sense it? Every choice isn't right for you.  Just because some people seem superhuman or would find a choice you face appealing, doesn't mean you follow suit.  You can't progress until you take responsibility.  

As you make the conscious decision to be accountable for what hasn't worked in your life, for what does and doesn't work now, for perceived mistakes and failure, you learn what it means to be loyal to yourself.  Rediscover who you are again, as if for the first time.

Comments

[rainer]

Dear Liara,

I always want to help and that makes it difficult for me to say no to people. You are right, one needs the ability to say no or you end up working every minute for other people. In my opinion, words are overrated;-)

[Liara Covert]

rainer, learning to set boundaries is a meaningful process. Only you decide the extent of your limits. Many people do not realize they freely give away this control to others. As each of us learns what it means to take responsibility for our lives, we realize we choose how we interact and give our consent. We can also consciously choose to change.

[Charles Hamel]

This is also a weakness of mine. It is very hard for me to say no. And on the occasions that I do say no, I get a terrible guilt trip that I lay on myself. I guess this is just another part of myself that I need to work on.

Thanks Liara

[Liara Covert]

Charles, every perceived weakness is a clue to hidden strength. Setting boundaries on your efforts can be a challenge if you evolve to think you are exploited. Yet, from the moment you decide to take responsibility for how you react, your life will change for the better. It may be an exercise in assertiveness and boosting esteem. Moving toward self-aceptance will enable you to convince yourself your time and energy are more valuable.

[Leanne Lonergan]

It feels so good to say no sometimes. I guess for most of us it is about not feeling guilty for it! I was brought up to put others needs and opinions before mine. A little voice in my head used to say,"What will people think?" I am happy to say I am over it!

[Liara Covert]

Leanne, perhaps the crux is not whether or not a particular reaction is to our benefit, but the impact on our lives as we notice. As we discern what is in our interest, that means we'll experience it sooner. To whom you say "no" is less important than the "why?"