Almost dead as a doornail

In 2005, I met the older mother of a good friend. I sensed she had smoked much of her life and her cough and story confirmed this.  She repeatedly complained and shared negative energy. She seemed to forget she had ideas or activities to feel passionate about.  This woman didn't seem to realize that her refusal to exert efforts to reverse her negativity was not only adversely affecting her, but she was alienting others as well. Many people didn't wish to be around her. She pushed them away. She tried to convince herself she didn't need people when she really did.

As time went on, I visited this woman and kept in contact with her. I felt connected to her and she taught me the value of listening.  I encouraged her to help me edit an uplifting book I wrote.  Her outlook evolved.  She focused more on positive experiences in her life, from winning many prizes on radio shows to realizing she had friends for line-dancing and outings.  Before long, she reverted back to closet smoking. The smell of her home (and my garage when she visited) told the truth.  She denied it, but her voice grew raspier. I thought there was also more to it.

One night, early March 2007, without warning, this woman's breathing became laborious.  She was up most of the night but was afraid to call and worry anyone she knew. The next day, her male companion visited and expressed concern.  She spoke about dying as she regularly did.  Her male friend ignored it. He called the doctor.  At that point, she consulted the doctor.  She was instructed to calm down, eat better and take care of herself. Yet, days passed. Her breathing difficulties continued and worsened. I know because I received a call from her male companion.

A few days later, I received a call late at night from her male friend who had called her an ambulance. She had been taken to hospital because she was struggling severely to breathe.  She believed she would die.  The ambulance driver and hospital doctors gave her oxygen. Her breathing level supposedly reached as low as 32. According to the doctors, she was near death.  I received phone reports from her companion and then went to the nearby town 2 hours away to visit myself. I learned when the doctor did his initial examination and consultation, he discovered this woman hadn't been taking her medications.  What medications, I wondered?

Turned out, three years earlier, she had seen a doctor for serious respiratory trouble. At that time, she had been prescribed 3 medications to open her airways and facilitate her breathing. She admitted she used one for a while but then, felt better and decided to throw them all out. She had decided the medicines were too expensive and unnecessary .  She had diagnosed herself as healthy and went on as usual, at least until her most recent brush with death.

As much as she said death was on her doorstep, when it seemed to knock, she didn't feel ready.  She told me her guardian angels felt closer, and they let her know in their way it wasn't her time. Perhaps she finally realized she felt like she was dying. Its what she thought she wanted.  It was a revelation for her to discover she could wish for and create her life to be another way. Last I spoke to her, she told me in disbelief that her breathing level was up to 160. She felt very proud.

She confided to me that the lung issues must have built back up when she wasn't looking. I didn't mention the smoking. The doctor said candidly, " light up again and you'll realize the death wish."  I think she has changed her mind?  She now practises blowing bubbles in water and performs other breathing exercises advised by her doctor. She inhales prescribed medicine and oxygen and I see a huge improvement in her morale.  She seems more at peace within herself than before. She accepts she is supposed to take the medication the rest of her life. With her pension, the medicine is less expensive than she remembered before.

In fact, I realize this woman has been preparing herself to heal.  Once back home, she told me how she sensed she would be healed yet, she would have to undergo more difficulty in order to make it happen.  The shock of her recent health scare reinforced connection with angels.  She reflects back on her life more and makes efforts to reframe past tragedies as blessings. She recently confided she was almost suffocated by her last ex-husband and she was more than ready to heal past emotional wounds.  She 's grateful her angels weren't ready to let her pass.  She's finally learning to release her attachment from pain.  As she raises her awareness of life, she realizes no experience is in vain.