What's all the fuss about?

Sometime, in the not too distant past, the general public began to feel as though they had reasons to review their lives, their track record, their views of themselves and the world.  Large numbers of people began to feel as if their lives needed fixing.  Self-help books evolved in droves in identify widespread problems experienced in daily life and their supposed solutions.

Why is it that you may suddenly feel you don't have enough confidence, you don't have a good enough lifestyle, you don't have strong enough relationships, you aren't connected enough to a purpose, you don't spend enough time on people and activities that should mean the most to you? What's all the fuss about? Why do people suddenly accept that what they have isn't good enough?

Steve Salerno wrote a book, "Sham: How the Self-Help Movement made American helpless."   He explains the self-help industry promotes self-criticizing to encourage you to tear yourself down with a goal of building your confidence. Salnero argues this kind of approach to positivity yields questionable results.  Salerno asks why, if 'SHAM' programs and treatments supposedly solve their clients' problems, the industry thrives on repeat customers. Why is the proposed next step, should initial program or treatment fail, new views of the same? In the book's second half, Salerno argues that SHAM does real harm through its influence on love relationships, schooling, and health care.  Although he feels the self-help industry should not be dismissed as "silly but benign," he shows how it undermines the value and techniques of traditional psychology and empowering education.

Each of us may forget that we have the power to decide what is "enough" time or what constitutes our own "success."  Perhaps one of the most challenging things for many of us is to determine what defines balance and fulfillment for us as individuals separate from what other people have or may want us to experience. We can benefit greatly from listening to other people because they will almost always notice details that we miss. However, we can also benefit from learning to listen to ourselves to figure out how we feel and and what we consider to be self-satisfying.