Test the faith

"The danger is not that the soul should doubt whether there is any bread, but lest, by lie, it should persuade itself that it is not hungry." -Simone Weil

People develop faith in what they hope for, and may believe in what isn't always verifiable.  Through believing in something greater than ourselves, we can learn to banish fear and the conditions of lack from which we seek to escape.  Our beliefs, individually and collectively shape who we are and what we do.  It's not uncommon for views to change based on life experience. 

Based on documents and interviews, the Miracle Detective is a book that examines major alleged holy visions from the nineteenth and twentieth centuries.  Some of the most controversial sightings are listed, "authentic" and "extremely significant." Many sightings with large, devotional followings are listed "false" or "doubtful."  Yet, is it reasonable for guardian angels to leave a trail?

The Scottsdale apparitions are considered some of the most controversial sightings.  They began at St. Maria Goretti Parish, in Scottsdale, Arizona, U.S.A., outside Phoenix, in the late summer of 1988, and supposedly lasted eight years. 

Nine, young people contacted their pastor, Father Spaulding,  separately to confide they were hearing voices. These people ranged in ages from 19 to 31. Some began to receive detailed messages recorded them for Father Spaulding. He reviewed the messages and believed them to be authentic.  A short time later, Father Spaulding himself claimed to begin to receive messages, and to hear encouraging voices.  His personal experiences shaped his perception of miracles.

He formed a prayer group of the young people. Our Lady gave them encouragement and advice in her messages, and they received a lesson each week for the group to meditate on. Each lesson was on a basic subject, like humility, compassion, pity, and greed.  Four members of this prayer group claimed to have actually seen Our Lady, one claimed to have taken dictation directly from God, and the rest had reported receiving locutions from angels for reflection. These experiences prompted each individual to reflect on the reasons for the deepest pain or greatest difficulty in his or her life and then, each individual found the courage to work through and rise above it. 

The nature of the messages varied among the visionaries. Father Spaulding and Gianna Talone (Sullivan) claim to have received the most apparitions. During the initial controversy, a documentary about the "Scottsdale visionaries" was broadcast on local Arizona television.  This made Gianna's professional, scientific life as a pharmacist difficult and the impact of her beliefs contributed to her first husband filing for divorce.

Gianna has since moved to Emmitsburg, Maryland, the site of the Lourdes Shrine. the oldest in the U.S.  She believes that experiencing grief and rejection in life remind her she has to lose some worldly things to gain wisdom.  She described that seeing  Our Lady was a way to "become aware of all your own faults, your pride, your lack of generosity and compassion.  You felt the pain of all that, of being so far from that beauty, that peace and perfection. You feel ashamed of yourself and despondent."  After she faced some of her greatest weaknesses and fears, she found meaning in new relationships and in changing the focus of her life.

Gianna encourages individuals to pray for "discernment" because "feelings aren't facts." She believes that the scepticism and controversy in Scottsdale could be described as "humanity's interference with God's plan." She describes the divergent public beliefs as, "ego, mostly, people wanting it to go their own way, or to take control, or being jealous of one person, or suspicious of another. Pride and hurt feelings, that's what got in the way."

Perhaps you learn more about yourself when you don't try to avoid your own suffering. Gianna Talone endured years of self-doubt, fear and loss in her life, but she kept trusting, even when these negative feelings were overwhelming. Her periods of darkness ended when she rose above her own egotistical pride.  "I just woke up one morning and found the sadness gone." This test of her soul may have connected her to something more than traditional guardian angels. Whatever it was, it triggered her turning point: discovering a deeper purpose and greater self-acceptance.