The Dalai Lama & 10 Steps to develop a good heart

The 14th Tibetan Dalai Lama believes happiness is accessible to everyone through the power of the mind.  He says this from experience.  He secretly escaped from his homeland as a foreign culture was taking over and attempting to extinguish beliefs and break the Tibetan human spirit.  The Dalai Lama's culture remains oppressed to this day, but the spirit and will of the people are unshaken. 

The concept of happiness has often been difficult for Westerners to define and grasp.  How can things you have be taken away, and people you care about, and you still find ways to be happy? Many people think happiness is a reward for solving some great mystery, some sensation that comes "out-of-the-blue."  Many people have also come to think it must be earned through hardship.

The Dalai Lama is convinced it's possible to train the psyche or spirit, which includes how you think and what you feel.  According to him, you can gradually eliminate thoughts that create your suffering, and then realize you're capable. How can you clarify your own sense of happiness?  Consider ideas I gained by being inspired by this spiritual leader:

1) Manifest a simple willingness to reach out to others.  Intend feelings of affinity and goodwill, even in short encounters or chance meetings with strangers.   Forging uplifting feelings and human closeness contributes to a stronger personal identity.

2)  Tolerate life's daily foibles with flexibility and smiles.  Unhappy people tend to be tense, self-focused and socially-withdrawn. When you're loving and forgiving, the world opens to you.  To loosen up and laugh things off will promote good health.

3) Share opportunities with others.  If you've been stuck in traffic and another person desires to join the cue, when you slow down to give way, you're also sharing positive energy.  Offering opportunities to others will invite unexpected things into your life. You have the innate ability to relieve stress and brighten other people's lives, as well as your own. What goes around reflects back.

4) Learn to be satisfied with who you are and what you have. Whether or not you win the lottery or experience some tragedy or crisis, external conditions are always changing.  This illustrates that underneath it all,  moment-to-moment perception is what shapes who you are.

5) Recall that things could be worse.  Rather than focusing on lack and void, you can increase feelings of satisfaction by taking note people are less fortunate and we're really in good shape.  This points out that your perspective defines you and can override any feelings of negativity. You also recall life is impermanent so your current conditions will not last. They'll soon improve. 

6) Reminisce about favorable conditions.  Thinking about positive experiences of the past and feelings you expect all contribute to reinforce your sense of contentment.

7) Nurture mental discipline.  To develop a calmness of mind and inner stability, you develop the conditions to live a happy and joyful life regardless of your faculties or external conditions.

8) The true antidote to greed is contentment.  Self-satisfaction itself doesn't determine if your desire or choice is positive or negative.  If you ask, "will an act bring you happiness?" you'll learn to shift your focus from what you deny yourself to what you seek and offer to give yourself.

9) Connect with human beings.  Developing a bond can lead to increased sense of dignity and self-worth.  This can be a source of consolation if you lose everything you think is important.  Continuity of a human connection is what matters.

10) Value learning and unlearning.  Take steps to learn why negative feelings and emotions are harmful and how a positive attitude and emotions can heal and energize you.  Realize your outlook resonates back into the world around you.  Recognize how you interpret your present and your future begins and ends in you.

Never have your cat stuffed

Ever dream about the fate of a missing neighborhood cat? About ten years after high school graduation, I stumbled on an old friend hitch-hiking along a road. I was visiting the area and my family. My girlfriend and I picked him up. He didn't look exactly how I'd remembered him, but it's not something we mentioned aloud.

During the ride, we caught up. He explained how joining a traveling band had influenced him to change his lifestyle and experiment deeper into drugs. His addiction and ensuing financial issues had also led him to a stint in prostitution. Falling ill after his lover died had nearly brought him to the end of his rope. At the time, I thought my life was risky?

As I listened to this friend, I had the distinct impression that people often have enough to live by, but don't always discover some enduring meaning and purpose for which they live. Even if circumstances didn't seem to be evolving in this guy's favor, he took a risk to take responsibility for emotional and financial survival. He chose to reach out and create a new sense of meaning.  He had an "aha" experience where he decided he'd take the risk to figure himself out. In essence, he became aware of what could be done to rectify his difficulties and set about it.

How did he discern meaning where it had been missing before? He began to uncover a hierarchy of values in himself. He decided to face aspects of his past he couldn't change and grow beyond that. He decided not to let himself be broken by what had happened. He had learned how to suffer. He had learned how to make excuses for doing what made him feel bad. He evolved from blaming himself and seeing himself as a victim in his life, to becoming responsible for understanding and overcoming his own guilt. Such was apparently a long journey. As it was, so was that drive. 

From what I gather, this guy's growth continues and he's learning a lot. The last thing he told me was, "never have your cat stuffed." I replied, "excuse me?" He simply said it was a commemorative thing he had done during 'his tougher times.'   More recently, he had removed it from his wall. I sputtered, "I didn't know you had had a cat?" He curiously replied that he hadn't. I asked him no more questions.

Keep your eyes on the prize

The business world is mercilous.  Some people describe it as a "dog-eats-dog" world.  Although you realize pretty quickly you must stay on top of your game to excel and move forward, its not uncommon for people involved in business to take two steps forward and then, three or for steps backward. Heck, you may even sense you're making little or no progress at all. That kind of thinking could cause you restless nights. Do you wonder if your time and effort is really worth it?

You might ask yourself, "what happened to progress and growth?" Reality is that everyone's business isn't always growing. Business and markets experience periodic as well as inexplicable ups and downs. Some businesses can't cope, then stagnate and even fold. If your own business circumstances aren't ideal, the money isn't flowing in at rates you'd like, and you're starting to feel a bit discouraged, its time to step back, reflect and refocus. What can you do?

1) Remind yourself why you started your business in the first place. If you feel in a slump and motivation is lacking, think back to what got your creative juices flowing in the first place.  What did you identify as the source of meaning in your venture? You got into business for your own reasons, and they were enough for you to take steps to get off the ground. These same reasons can ignite those fires and generate a new dose of enthusiasm. Happiness isn't something to pursue, but a feeling that ensues as you realize you do what makes you feel good.

2) Make the best of your situation. What matters is your capacity to turn life's curve balls into positive and constructive lessons. You're where you are now because you got yourself here. It's in your interest to make the most of this opportunity. How will you grow and apply lessons learned to make the business better? Turn your discouragement and doubt into the reasons why and how you'll redefine your level of professional achievement and sense of wider contributions.

3) Recognize benefits in accountability. To be optimistic indiscriminately won't be helpful. Nurturing faith in an upturn isn't realistic without gaining new understanding of what went wrong. What could you have done differently? What will you choose to do (or not) next time? Its in your interest to review past choices and to redefine new kinds of responsible action. Admiting mistakes doesn't define you as a failure, but rather, helps to explain why you'll better yourself. Identify a new course.

4) Laugh long, hard and often. In the end, the situation in front of you may seem to have a tragic side, but it will have ridiculous sides to it as well. What kind of misjudgments did you make? What sorts of foibles would be worthy of a theatrical production or a comic strip? What kinds of reactions did you experience from other people that dazed and bewildered you? Laughter isn't known as being "the best medicine" for nothing.  Tickle your funny bone, again!

5) Change your mind. Decide you don't really have reason to be discouraged after all. Warnings and threats to yourself, even ultimatums are less effective than simply deciding to have a change of heart. You define your focus, your perception and priorities. Why would it be in your interest to undermine your dreams and reasons for increased productivity? Don't overlook inner power.

No such thing as an end

Success is defined by what you desire to experience.  Its not simply what you foresee happening somewhere down the track.  It is occurring now and has been happening throughout your life.  Each decision you make will influence the evolution and depth of experience,  what you grasp and savor, as well as experiences that may traumatize and change you in seemingly undesirable ways.  You're somewhere if that's what you believe.  You're nowhere if you feel that too.  Neither idea represents success or failure, but rather a limited view of where you are in time and space. 

As you develop abilities to differentiate among experiences, your value judgment will try to convince you that, "you aren't really successful," or, "you aren't as successful as you could be" or, that, "your last success was short-lived."  What if you took steps to redefine success completely? 

Think a minute, as if success as an experience wasn't the win-lose scenario you were taught. What if success was happening to you always?  In this case, it wouldn't be something that motivated you as much as reassured you to continue living and learning wherever you are.  It wouldn't be a reason to compete with or injure others, but impetus to distance yourself from what you thought triumph was. Consider a minute that what you have always thought about success was a misconception.   

Many people will isolate fixed ideas of success, achieve or not achieve them, and then, move on to pursue other ideas of success, which they may or may not realize.  Your own expectations of success influence emotional highs and lows.  You may forget success isn't simply a destination, isn't really a person to cling to, isn't a trophy to be given back when you enter next year's annual race. 

What would happen if you began to realize the things you perceive and believe are not what they seem at all?  Your options would expand exponentially.  A sense of success would have no end.  Each choice would be like a new thread to be woven into your growing web of life.  You would no longer have reason to reprimand yourself for what you aren't doing. You could accept yourself more as you are.

Deepak Chopra & 7 Tips to burst out of a straightjacket

Deepak Chopra raises inter-cultural awareness about ways we each perceive and influence our own health and well-being.  He draws from traditional and alternative medicine, mind-body and spiritual approaches to health.  Born in India, he has pioneered unique approaches to modern scientific thought in America and brought them into mainstream debate.  He has authored over 40 books, touching on vast spiritual and health topics, from bestsellers on aging, the "Seven spiritual laws of success," the existence of God, arguments for the afterlife and world peace.

In his latest book, Life after Death: The Book of Answers, he offers the thought-provoking idea that our present consciousness shapes our perception and existence after death.  He believes the afterlife is created uniquely for each of us by our own awareness in this life.  He invites us to reflect on issues confined in our mind today which frame our vision of the future and beyond.  Choose to burst out of the straightjacket of what you think you know. Expand your self-view:

1) How do you see yourself?  Your life is defined by more than events you influence.  Consider sources of your conditioning, mindset, why some memories stick, and others conveniently fade?  Your self-image and self-worth are shaped by those illusions you permit to influence you.  Many components, choices and interactions shape the pace and development of your identity. 

2) Grasp the basis for your expectations.  Whether or not you're ambitious with goals and why certainly merit reflection.  Why you're satisfied or not with each of your efforts tells you much about unconscious limits you have set (or decided not to set) for yourself.

3) Identify your sense of purpose.  This runs deeper than material desires, status and luxuries.  Your purpose draws from your primary motivation.  This is why you'd be willing to compromise and sacrifice beyond what others consider rational, because of the fulfillment it represents and the exhilarating feelings it triggers.  Meaning is immeasurable and unquantifiable.  Discovering your true passions and learning to market them tends to bring opportunity and money, but they matter far less than devoting yourself to what defines identity. 

4) Determine your final destination.  As you evolve along with your evolving purpose, you will gain a sense of what contributes to greater fulfillment.  This enables you to feel good about you.  To imagine a destination is a way you begin to recognize almost infinite possibilities.

5) Which roads will you follow?  Once you discover which life pursuits make you feel good and enable you to make a contribution to help others, and the direction of your desired destination, you will make choices to give you a sense of moving forward.  The roads you follow may build and expand on many areas of your life including, personal, professional, spiritual, to others.  You'll choose paths that get you where you seem wish to go. You may also diverge from what you have known to change course.

6) Who or what prevents you from success?  A variety of obstacles may seem to prevent you from reaching goals.  Do you permit yourself to be intimidated or bullied by certain people? Do you allow yourself to be discouraged by circumstances beyond your control?  Although physical blocks may get in your way, your mindset and attitude determine whether you'll allow other people to influence your feelings. Honest self-reflection will reveal fear is the ultimate adversary.

7) Who mentors your journey?   You attract people into your life based on lessons you may need to learn or guidance you desire to help you move closer toward your goals.  As you learn to recognize your needs and desires, you'll also seek out mentors who have experience in industries and environments you hope to break into.