How Writing Helped Heal My Divorce

Grace Carter is a woman who has found courage and new life direction as the result of facing marital challenges. As she worked through this adversity, she found energy to realize a dream that she refused to give up.  I am pleased to share her guest post here: 

Going through a divorce is one of the most painful things you can do. Trust me, I've been through it. As awful as it is though, it's possible to come through the other side and still be happy. Here's how I rediscovered writing, and how it's helped me survive and rebuild my life after my divorce.

Rediscovering old hobbies

When I was married, it was hard to find time for the hobbies that used to make me happy. I was an adult, and I had other obligations, such as childcare, and keeping the house while my husband was at work. I spent time with my husband, which was great at first. Hobbies had to take the back burner for now.

When I was married, I would try and take up writing as I had done when I was a teenager. My husband was never supportive though, seeing it as a waste of time. In the end, I hung up my pen for good.

When we separated, though, I rediscovered writing. At first, it was at the suggestion of a friend that I keep my thoughts in a journal. It was cathartic to lay all my thoughts bare in a book where no one else would see them. However, writing started taking over my life.

Writing as a career

When I was married, I was the homemaker while my husband worked. Now I was on my own though, I needed to make ends meet. I wondered if I could write for a living. What with the internet, there had to be a way, right?

After some searching, I came across various freelancing sites like UpWork, Essayroo and Boomessays. I did a little work at first, feeling my way around and working out what I was doing. Soon though, I had a decent sized client base and work coming my way every day.

This was brilliant for me. I could work from home, as all I needed was a laptop and an internet connection. As a busy mother, I could still take care of my children while I was making money. As well as this, I was using my long buried hobby to actually make money. I felt free for the first time since before I'd been married. I was providing for myself, and it felt amazing.

Moving on

After a while, I thought about branching out as a writer. I thought, 'Why don't I write the book I've always wanted to write?' I started writing a novel and soon it took over everything. The book wanted to be written, and I spent every spare moment I had with it.

Writing the book was amazing, but I did run into one problem while I was tapping away. As I wrote, I drew inspiration from all the other books I'd loved as a teenager. When I was finished, I published my book as an ebook. It felt great until I had an email from a lawyer, warning me that my book had plagiarised parts of one of my favourite novels.

It turns out that I'd veered too close to plagiarism by using that book as inspiration. I could have avoided this by using a plagiarism detection tool like Ukwritings, or a citation resource such as AustralianHelp.

Apart from that small hiccup though, writing really helped me survive my divorce. I found out who I was again, and was able to provide for myself. There was no better feeling than being able to do that. I strongly recommend you try writing yourself, even if it's just in a private journal.

Author bio:

Grace Carter is an editor at Big Assignments and EliteAssignmentHelp, writing websites. She works with team of writers and is involved in communications department.  Also, Grace tutors at Academized academic service.  She can be reached here:

Twitter: twitter.com/GraceCarterMe

Comments

[Liara Covert]

Hi Grace, thanks for contributing this article. I especially love the part about you writing the book as part of your healing process. At one stage of my life (unrelated to divorce), I wrote a book I never published as a way to work through emotions and learn to empathize with people who then I felt had hurt me. It was an forgiveness exercise that taught me its safe to feel and normal to experience the full gamut of emotions that were flowing through me.

As a coach and psychotherapist, I often hear people say they are taught negative emotions are bad, that grief, anger, fear and pain are better suppressed, repressed or avoided. I encourage journal writing like you describe as part of your healing process. Reading our own writing can draw attention to unrealized dreams we can focus more energy on. If we are open, it also reveals emotions are valuable teachers. As human beings, feelings and emotions are gifts we give ourselves to feel more alive. We each have the choice to view them as a gauge for how well we listen to our heart and as a path to live a more authentic life.

[Bern]

Synchronicity... Theresa has a friend who is releasing the following book soon:

https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/divorcealovestory?source=feed_text&__xts__[0]=68.ARCXdslmwGp72ztcqDM6_2UA1X3HpIMwrwB6YFS6yw6N3Ps2bnoAbvCvdLj1NNU16wPKBPPqA0jUbu4WmIwzhByCrMzqp2liAkkPcatXYk60ePks3ZSC2Kw3mXLOmA8qEsA45UpyaUX12XpfKB-8zTd5oyLYFCy8zYGVUX-FNPti2wbQQhvZZsw&__tn__=*NK-R

[Alan]

I support journalling in a diary as mentioned by this guest writer. This really helps heal the heart-mind. Re-reading our own words draws attention to our hidden dreams that we can focus more energy on. When we are open, everything is a teacher. As people, sentiments and feelings are blessings we offer ourselves to feel more invigorated.

[Lauren]

Thanks a lot! I read your blog article. It scares me but helps me see myself and this world differently.

[Richard]

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