How to give up what you think you want

Part of you is aware that what you think you want is not always good for you.  How do you choose when to detach from certain desires? When is something potentially destructive behaviour?

1) Foresee results before you act. If you are on a diet, and you truly hope to lose weight, then that yen for a whole chocolate cake does not serve you. It is important to connect how certain behaviours will undermine your desired results so you can learn to discipline your mind differently.

2) Examine the giving-up process.  If you are working to give up an addiction and your mind tells you to feed your habit, then you could fall into a trap.  The reasons which prompted you to start doing something unhealthy offer insight into the imagined pain of stopping.  People rarely resist change for reasons they assume.  Delve deeper to get answers.

3) Look for patterns. If you think you want a relationship with a certain person, but it is not working, and the scenario reminds you of a past relationship, then it is possible you are not consciously aware of a pattern.  Repeated experience of something not working the way you want can create tendency to cling to people who are not good for you. Time to wake up.

4) Listen to your feelings.  If you are asked to do something dishonest in exchange for getting what you think you want, then the means to the end could undermine the goal. Your feelings are a dependable gauge. What feels good, works.  Anything else does not.  Learn to discern the real difference.

Comments

[Alexys Fairfield]

Hi Liara,
Even though something is potentially destructive behavior, it is still not necessarily bad (spiritually) because it may be what we need to get us back on track. I am not talking about hurting others. It's the old adage of hitting rock bottom.

When we have had enough, we WILL change.

[Michael]

Really powerful things, its mostly in your mind isnt it, that half full half empty glass and I think my mind is getting better at spotting the good things in life.
You will see it when you believe it, whatever this "it" is!

[Liara Covert]

Alexys, what you say is very relevant. All behaviour teaches us things when we are ready and willing to learn. Further, we can learn different things from the same experiences at different times. What we assume is destructive can appear helpful in other light.

[Liara Covert]

Michael, the more faith you develop in your intuition, the less you will question what does or does not make sense. You just know. As you learn to listen to yourself, you no longer question. You accept what is. All else fades fast.

[Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker]

My first question to myself about a behavior: Is the behavior hurting me or someone else? If it is, it is time to stop repeating the behavior.

[Liara Covert]

Patricia, that you are willing to self-question, ready to shift your mindset, is more powerful than you realize. This is a key step to recognizing how to peel the layers of your own delusions. Rather than being harmful, they help you to develop assertiveness, confidence and self-love.