Interpret tough experience as an exercise in compassion

You may already be thinking, "that's all well and good, but to find the positive isn't always a piece of cake."  Do you really listen to yourself? When will you focus on who you are?

Its common to encounter people who seem negative, undiplomatic, critical or even downright nasty.  Your impulse may be anger and a desire to retaliate, to show them some of their own medicine.  Other options exist. What about showing some compassion?

How easy it seems to forget reasons explain why people are as they are.  Once a thief, always a thief?  Not necessarily.  Recall the story of Jean Valjean in Les Miserables by Victor Hugo? As a child, he stole bread to eat and was sent to prison. When he got out, people wouldn't hire him as he had a record.  So, he stole again.  It was all he knew to survive.  When a clergyman forgave him and generously gave him the silver he had stolen, this man encouraged Valjean to use it to become honest.  He did and it changed his life.

No doubt you think of people you know who have been very judgmental of your life or behavior.  They may disagree with your views on what is moral, legal, appropriate, justfiable or fair.  Maybe you are also very critical of yourself. How often do you chastise your own choices or results? Do you ever hear yourself echo sarcastically, "I told you so?"

You might ask yourself the purpose of passing encounters with difficult people.  How do they serve you?  What if they invite you to gain new insight into your own reasons for sensitivity or defensiveness?  What if they are a valuable tool to expand your self-awareness and open yourself to new ways of expressing and experiencing love?

Next time your reflex is to show someone 'the cold shoulder' or, avoid them as their behavior repulses or annoys you, reframe opportunity.  Rethink what makes you who you are.  You react as you do for hidden reasons.  How well do you truly know yourself? 

It may be easy enough to avoid people who 'press your buttons.'  You may have alternative places you could go rather than face repeated forms of discomfort. Yet, learning to interpret a tough experience as an exercise in positive thinking and compassion teaches you more than you realize.  Why not discern situations as teachers?

Some people have never been shown love or compassion or, don't have any memory of what this means.  Imagine the feeling of how your life would change if you knew different.  To express love and compassion to other people, to remind them of the power in positive thinking, you must start by reminding yourself its the core of who you are.

Comments

[Bruno]

Great post Liara - Never judge a person until you walk in their shoes. :)

Have a great day!

[Pamir]

"Compassion is a selfless form of passion...The emotional energy of compassion is every bit as potent as ordinary passion, but rather than scattering energy...compassion focuses energy and motivates intent to apply one's wisdom and other resources towards helping people."
--Daniel Reid

[Liara Covert]

Bruno, it also is possible to evolve to where you no longer desire to judge at all. As you imagine what its like to 'walk in another person's shoes,' such an experience has the potential to expand your love and understanding to where you will train yourself to view others in positive ways. Radiate love rather that nurture other thoughts about them.

[Liara Covert]

Pamir, thanks for sharing this view of compassion. Its always possible to expand our sense of love. Energy is a wondrous substance. It may be that we don't yet even begin to tap into its infinite potential. You can use something or benefit from it without having to understand exactly what it is. We often learn by example. Selflessness requires practice.

[Aleexys Fairfield]

Liara,
You offer a fine example of compassion in Les Miserables and that random act of kindness may have helped Valjean to have compassion and integrity. He exposed all of his foibles by not letting an innocent man go to jail for something the man did not do. In doing that, he lost everything, yet gained everything. That is what we do as Soul - lose ourselves to gain ourselves.

[Liara Covert]

Alexys, compassion and integrity are within reach of everyone. We each encounter people and situations who seem difficult to accept or love. It can be a challenge to express love consistently. This requires discipline and the will to open your heart wider.

[irene]

Hi, I link this post to my blog. It was very nice!ü

[Liara Covert]

Irene, every experience is a useful teacher. As you remove labels you use to describe each one, the perception of challenge or difficulty simply falls away like an old skin. You outgrow misplaced perceptions to encourage self to shift focus and understand life differently. You are always where you are meant to be. TAt a given moment, the mind highlights experiences that are especially useful.