5 Ways to reframe broken relationships

Human beings learn more through experience than through any other means. Therefore, you may evolve to find something good related to every relationship you have ever had.

You may not realize that your higher self is involved in helping you create each of your relationships.  That is, part of you has motives and intentions that your conscious mind only realizes at the right time.  Consider 5 ways to reframe broken or past relationships;

1) What if you created a relationship which would teach you the value of your self-worth? Allowing yourself to be mistreated or exploited is a lesson in defining boundaries. Only you ever determine  your own self-worth.  No one ever intimidates you without your consent.

2) What if you attacted a relationship based on your lingering broken heart? If you attract a person who acts such that painful history repeats itself, then that person bears some responsibility.  Yet, that person would also be encouraging you to grow.

3) What if you enter into a relationship that does not work out due to your naivete or inexperience? This may draw your attention to how not to perceive yourself as a victim. 

4) What if you have faith that your partner will change to suit you and this does not happen? This reminds you that you are only ever able or meant  to change yourself.

5) What if you evolve away from or outgrow your relationship? People grow in different directions.  People who choose to grow together tend to stay together.  People who do not choose to understand or support another are choosing to stay where they are.

Comments

[Alexys Fairfield]

Hi Liara,
This is a really beautiful post. So often we create chaos in relationships by not being fulfilled before we enter into them. I am a strong believer in finding oneself before putting the burden on someone else to find us. The ideal relationship can enhance how we feel about ourselves.

I like the power and truth of this statement.

"People who choose to grow together tend to stay together. People who do not choose to understand or support another are choosing to stay where they are."

Thank you for enlightening the perspective on relationships.

[Liara Covert]

Alexys, it may appear reasonable to find yourself before asking someone else, but is it fair or reasonable to ever ask anyone else? The soul does not always accept other people's opinions of what it is. Consider spiritual people. They choose solitude as part of their journey in order to self-reflect. Few of them choose solitude for an entire lifetime. Many human beings only rediscover and reconnect to key parts of themselves through raising awareness during relationships that do not work. As a person evolves, he or she learns to expand what he sees. He attunes to what works or doesn't work in his behavior. Victor Hugo said, "It is by suffering that human beings become like angels." Human beings do not need new senses. They evolve to see differently with senses that have never left them.

[Darla]

Hi Liara,

Do you believe there to be a shared or common consciousness within the universe? I just find it mind boggling how appropriate these blogs always seem to be with regards to issues going on in my life.

I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately. I have been trying to evaluate my temper, mood swings, honesty with myself and others.I have been led to a period of self discovery and self evaluation due to a friendship that I consciously chose to end. I have realized that all of the pain I am feeling, all of the guilt and defensiveness that I have been housing has sent me on a journey into myself. Being an artist, I can see how strong emotion is a navigator for my life.I'm not sure however, how to deal with hurting someone else. Is it that you were meant to be a teacher for them as well? Do all of our individual journeys link up like some big beautiful web in order to allow us to teach lessons to one another?

Darla

[Liara Covert]

Darla, human beings are often scared of their own feelings. They hide from them, deny them or, ignore them when feelings are actually one of the most helpful mechanisms that exist to help people help themselves. What matters is how you evovle to read your feelings, whether you acknwoledge them, when and and what you choose to gain from the experience. I believe a peson only notices tools and avenues open to them when they are mentally ready to become aware. Everything you will ever 'need' already exists and is in fact accessible to you. The when and how you choose to porceed are always up to you.