Are you too hard on yourself?

Do you get frustrated or disappointed with yourself to the point where you reprimand or punish yourself for your own behavior or lack of initiative? You may debate with yourself about positions to take or avoid in your circumstances. Do you feel stuck between 'a rock and a harder place?' Remind yourself that the controversy you create in your own mind is exactly that, an imagined dispute based on differing opinions.  You can't predict exactly what will happen when you speak with people about issues that bother you.  You may create controversy where there will be none.

1) If you stand up to a boss who behaves unethically or immorally, will you lose your job?

2) If you confront your intrusive mother-in-law for showing up at your house and taking over, will this jeopardize your relationship with your family and in-laws?

3) If you express a desire to use birth control, will it alientate your partner, family or community?

4) If you discover evidence and publically chastise hidden drug use among athletes in local high schools, will the backlash affect your children? your family? peers? community?

We all have disagreements with individuals in our lives and we aren't always happy with our own choices. Consider strategies before dealing with issues you feel may cause contention:

•    Analyze your situation : why do you feel the way you do?
•    Consider advantages & disadvantages of positions: who benefits & how?
•    Pinpoint reasons for anxiety: how might others react?
•    Identify your underyling values: what really holds you back?
•    Consult people you trust: what would they do & why?
•    Review your options : what couse of action seems best?