Derek Pingle & the benefits of blood, sweat & fears

What you do every day inspires someone somewhere, but do you think about that?  The question is, are the choices you make contributing to improve someone else's lifestyle alone or, are your choices bringing you closer to realizing your dreams? You define the kind of wealth you seek, what this entails, and what steps you're willing to take to create and achieve it.

You may have heard that hard work and persistence are key to becoming a champion. Lance Armstrong, eight time Tour de France winner and cancer survivor, would concur. You also need to sense deep inside that you have the power to become this image, that you are in fact, already there.  How do you permit this mindset to empower you to shape your life?  Remind yourself that a sense of completeness and fulfillment are not only for the chosen few, but for the few who choose this path and convince themselves they have what it takes to finish their own race.

I heard a profound story tonight directly from Derek Pingle.   He recounted how at age 24, he became a race car driver. At that time, he dreamed of being an Australian national car racing champion, yet he encountered stumbling blocks that he permitted to deter him from his dream.  Later in life, he tried again and had a terrible accident which totaled his car, landed him in hospital and triggered a stroke. 

Nonetheless, he recovered, bought a new car and tried again.  He competed in many races, stubborn and resilient, lost some and won some.  He worked hard, yet wasn't completely convinced he would win and thus, he didn't. At the height of his career, he achieved only second place which really ate away at him. Soon after that, he retired to focused on developing businesses with his wife. Nonetheless, Derek and his brother still maintained a dream they would oneday race to driving victory. When Derek lost his brother suddenly, he decided that his brother wouldn't have wanted him to let his dream die.

Understand that between them, Derek and his wife evolved to be working ~200 hours per week in 6 businesses.  They earned what they saw as an acceptable income, but felt at a loss for time to live the life they desired.  They describe how they took a chance to become involved in a marketing business which enabled them to create passive income and cut back on other business commitments. This new venture prompted Derek to buy another racing car.  He decided he would again pursue his dream, this time, for his brother too. It was now or never. He went for it.

Derek hired a German trainer who put him on a strict triathlete's exercise regimen which he admits he really despised. He also became very disciplined with his new diet. Friends and media told him repeatedly that nobody his age had ever attempted what he decided he would accomplish.  His 24 year old daughter became his greatest supporter and racing team manager. Born in 1958, this Australian man became the oldest ever Australian Yokohama Formula 4000 car racing champion in 2006. This was a dream he had had over 24 years. He savoured the moment.

The financial freedom Derek worked to create through his marketing business enabled him to change focus.  He gave up being involved in diverse ventures and operations throughout South East Queensland, including Pingel Homes, which won more than 100 industry awards.  He chose to surround himself with people who stretched him and added new value to his life.  He did mental mind conditioning with cue cards which he kept in his pocket and read every day. He read race track maps with ideal speeds written on them to visualize what he wanted. he did everything he thought he had to do adn he asked experts to help him.  Ultimately, he  told himself he had what it takes and he grew to believe that.  He realized that difficulty hadn't caused his past failures, rather, it was his lack of faith in himself.

Derek Pingle paid the price for his victory in blood, sweat and overcoming his nagging fears.  He realized the person he became in the process of winning races was the person he'd been hiding all the time.  He has taught me the value of nurturing a teachable spirit inside myself. Quite frankly, it's humble and exhilarating to feel like a work in progress.  I accept and benefit from new skill sets all the time.   As I help other people learn the business that helped Derek change his lifestyle, I sense I will not achieve the success I envision for myself unless I also help others realize the value of their own untapped potential.  It makes me feel good to inspire people to reconnect with their dreams on a regular basis, and make promises to themself they are committed to keep.  Savor your own journey. As you search for new kinds of meaning in life, you can overcome your own fears.

Is being a "kept man" the next big thing?

Are women less desirable to men if they are high-achievers and big income earners at work? Do men prefer subservient woman to the one with career and ambition? Two U.S. studies receiving major media attention say that the answer is yes. Not surprisingly, this "bad news for smart women" scenario led to big headlines. There was a considerable backlash about whether or not the studies portray the widespread truth. 

Among evolutionary psychology's truisms:

-Women are by nature coy, modest and monogamous.

-Women with many partners are unnatural, while men are inherently promiscuous. Natural selection instructs men to "spread their seed" widely.

-Women want successful men to provide for them, and older men generally have more resources than younger men. Women would run right past Brad Pitt if he was a struggling actor instead of a rich and famous one, and fall into the arms of a gray-haired but wealthy swain.

-Men lust after very young, baby-faced, presumably fertile women. University of Texas psychologist Davis Buss makes this claim in "The Evolution of Desire," and pop culture revels in this notion.

However, editorial remarks in response to the above claims reveal that high-achieving women aren't necessarily less desirable to men. In fact, many men spoke out publically about how they actually dream of being "kept men" and stay at home dads.  "I'd have no trouble if my female partner took full responsibility for working to support the family," remarked one man.  So the negative or offensive connotation of being taken care of by a woman seems to be fading. 

Consider that flexible, modern men would happily hand over the stress and pressure associated with being in charge. They consider themselves more than ready to "share the load." A new trend reveals working men may secretly desire to redefine their lifestyle and priorities. This may be explained by men recognizing a lack of connection to family and especially to their children.

Whether or not being a "kept man" and/or  stay at home dad becomes the next big trend remains to be seen. Traditional assumptions that a stay-at-home dad is necessarily weak and unambitious are no longer as widely believed as they once were. Statistics still reveal more men act in the Western workforce than women and the majority of men still bring home larger paychecks.

Aspire to be a hypocrite?

So many people seem to be reaching out for attention and pulling bizarre stunts to get it.  Are you just imagining this social phenomenon or is it increasingly widespread and true? What about your own tactics? Are you in the habit of telling people things that aren't true and then, do you pull all the stops to prove yourself wrong? Is sparking controversy and repenting, then sliding down the slippery slope, supposed to be an accetpable way to improve your self-worth and self-image?

Let's consider a rock star like Britney Spears who recently shaved her head on impulse and made other questionable decisions which landed big headlines. She committed herself to live-in rehab, signed herself out, then recommitted herself again and left. What are we supposed to believe about her desire to get well? Why do we keep watching media to find out what happens next?

Think about the death of porn star Anna Nicole Smith and the ongoing dispute over the paternity of her baby daughter. The five men who currently claim to be the girl's dad are certainly setting a memorable example.  Apparently, large sums of money at stake imply the time must be right to admit having few morals or virtues.  So the modern world encourages people to say one thing, do another, and hope that portrayed morals and virtues reconcile when blood work comes back.

Refer back to director Michael Moore's 2004 film, Fahrenheit 9/11.  His views of what happened to the U.S. after September 11 portray the Bush Administration as being full of hypocrites.  According to this Oscar-winning film (best documentary), the Adminstration allegedly used the tragic event to advance its agenda to initiate unjust wars in Afghanistan and Iraq.  Does this mean these politicians aspired to become successful hypocrites to implement their strategic plans?

Well, even you have a public persona everyone sees and views of yourself only you know about. What you say and whether you act consistently are details which can come back to haunt you.  Some people may interpret that you’re simply a "hypocrite" at times or plain "ignorant" of facts. Do you play act during any major life milestones? If so, this differs from someone who does things wrong because he doesn’t know better. Maybe you should seek opinions of your behavior.  At least two sides exist to a coin.  Multiple perspectives may even call into question what you think you want and why. If you don't know yourself, consolation is other people will have their views. 

Logic of a hermit

People will go to great physical, emotional, geographic and other lengths to stretch themselves. For devoted students of enlightenment, the idea of living in a cave may have immeasurable appeal. If you truly wish to understand yourself and the world beyond, you're taught to separate yourself from the familiar and from possible influences which prevent you from deep learning. 

Try as outsiders might, they do not always share the enthusiasm for self-imposed hunger, filth, extended solitude, anti-sociability, extinguished material ambition, abstinence or asexuality and denial of other responsibilities.  Not everyone thinks imposed thirst and hardship will invite a better sense of existence. People like Patanjali, Siddharta, Tezin Palmo and others will disagree.

Maybe the logic of a hermit isn't meant to be understood based on how you've come to think about your life thuis far in other places. You can get your hands on travel books written by individuals who made efforts to share their journeys. Yet, how close do these portrayals come to the real experience? Do you get a sense of connection or disconnection with your own reality? Will you ever know the difference? Do you have the will and inclination to change that?

Consider Robyn Davidson walked 1,700 miles across the Australian desert accompanied by four camels. Tracks is the book about this adventurer's relationship to her own ambivalent quest. She never directly identifies motives, but she was driven by things so profoundly powerful that she may not grasp them herself. Curiously, the financial backing of the National Geographic, resulted in her private journey being invaded. Did she not seek only to redefine her independence? She admits: "I was beginning to see it as a story for other people, with a beginning and an ending."  Photographers followed her. People approached with their own questions and interpretations.   Perhaps Davidon's ultimate confrontations are with her own personal and cultural views of racism and misogyny, and with the challenges she brings on herself in the depths of rural Australia?

In less extreme cases, people will hide themselves away in an office and pretend to be hermits.  They often like the idea of a temporary experience and fear the dangers of greater unknown in the longer term. Maybe the idea of confronting those things that scare us most is one of the best ways to improve our character. If you're afraid to climb a rock face, find a way to do it and that fear will no longer control you. The logic of a hermit invites each of us to take steps to enrich our inner soul, wherever that may take us. What we discover or bring back will be priceless.

Could this be for real?

You may have struggled with your bearings when trying to find a new place. How you choose to see this kind of journey relates to how you view your instincts and the possible intervention of invisible help.

When I was driving alone to my first cultural choir practice in Melbourne, I had to travel quite a distance from where I live. I expected to drive about 45 minutes to an hour in each direction of my destination. I had thought I mapped out the route through highways and freeways, but as I was approaching the Westgate Bridge, traffice became heavy. I sensed I'd missed a crucial turn.  My body become tense in four lanes meeting three more. I instinctively turned into the Shell Gas Station right before crossing the wrong bridge. Repeated experience has taught me service station cashiers in the area aren't often helpful for directions. I had my Melways book of city maps and made efforts to get my bearings yet without success. 

Next, I chose to get out of the car and approach a man who sat in his car drinking coffee. You ever get the chance that someone is waiting for you? Whether or not this was the case, he was able to direct me how to get back on the Monash Freeway, retrace my steps and take another bridge. Now this might seem like an overly logical thing, to ask a stranger a question and get back on track. So what if he was wearing leiderhosen on a hot day. Okay, it's not everyone who wears leather shorts with suspenders. I was thankful to reach my destination and join a group that reconnects me to my cultural roots.  Male members don't typically wear leiderhosen, but short pants with socks are actually part of the men's native costume.

Well, the night after my lost experience, a key dream led me to retrace my steps with a twist. I was driving in the wrong direction, but what was different was a hazy older man and woman dressed in ethnic costume sat (or rather, floated) in the back seat of my car. I could hear them speaking in a foreign language and about whether they would give me a hint about my incorrect judgment.  I sensed they disagreed about how I would use my resourcefulness to get to where I desired to go.  Then, I had a flashback to when I was driving home from the practice. The couple was again still in the back of the car and they had no reflection in my rearview mirror. When I felt uncertain about which exit to take returning on the Bolte bridge, I had this sudden hunch and took the proper left turn.  In the dream, I heard a chuckle in the back seat.  Were these some of my ancestors? Maybe. This dream was far more intriguing than those I've had hovering above my physical body, watching myself make mistakes on school tests that I had already written and couldn't change.