Choose insanity wisely

How you think determines what you do now and how your life will evolve into the future. If you're foolhardy, or you act based on senselessness, where would you be headed? Your thinking influences mindset and virtually everything you perceive.  Do you realize the wider implications of this? Would you pretend to ignore how your attitudes are slowly revealing themselves and why? How you think matters.

As you reflect back on your childhood, you recall absorbing much of what you were told. You listened to parents, relations, teachers, mentors and role models in your community. Recall what they told you? Local police may have done a presentation at your school about road safety and how to cross the road when the pedestrian light turns green. A church minister or other religious authority may have drilled commandments or other standards into you head. Teachers and principals ingrained those school rules. Caregivers may have disciplined you for bickering with siblings of friends, or not doing what you were told. Which memories come rushing back?

As an adult, you were likely apt to analyze or question rules learned early on. You may walk across the street talking on your mobile phone regardless of the pedestrian lights. You may be rushing around so much and live a life that mutes the impact of religion as the guide it might've been. Being out of school has taught you rules of survival, approval and reward differ greatly in the real world. You may or may not keep in touch with siblings.  What do your past interactions teach you? How do your reactions to rules in society reflect your true personality and aptitudes?

What you do with what you know gives you hints about how you value or apply what you have learned. Where do your current perspectives and values stem from? Why do they matter to you? Other people may think you're crazy. How do previous life experiences shape you? Everything you have done makes you who you are.   Nothing is meaningless.  You'll eventually arrive wherever you're meant to arrive.  When you get there, what you learn along the way and how is up to you.

The time comes when each person arrives at a crossroads. You’re confronted with continuing along the lines of what role models have taught or, you’re prompted to develop the courage and inclination to redefine what you stand for. This includes values and principles, and what seems right or wrong for the person you are now.

Suddenly, what you learned before may be irrelevant. You may struggle to figure out why you think differently. As you start to question things you learned in the past, this may be a sign of growth and the prospect of positive change. The choices you made in the past were based on who you were and how you thought then. If you feel defeated, you may also be ready to think in new ways based on lessons learned. What you did before didn't work. Situations you face now could be new. Where would you seek alternative standards for your ethics, morals and behaviors?

Turning to nature isn’t uncommon. After all, animals behave in ways that may have some appeal. What would you choose to emulate? You can look at how specific species love, nurture and protect their kin, or trigger conflict. You can consider priorities of survival and companionship.  The choices are as vast as you imagine.

Then again, perhaps you would determine what feels right will benefit other people. Which kinds of choices would be preferable and for whom? Rather than act impulsively, you may be concerned with causes and wider consequences. How could you make the world a better place because of a path you follow? Decisions may be grounded in faith.  Your view of 'normal' may be someone else's idea of insanity.

Define your mission from here

If you're involved in business ventures, and feel like things aren't going you're way, or you've been having a hard time of it, you may be wondering what it would take to make new progress.  You're not alone.  How many people have taken courses on 'how to lose or fail well?' This isn't what business training and seminars will typically tell you.  Maybe its time to think differently?

Much like Dr. Henry Cloud in his 2006 book, Integrity, my own experience and beliefs have taught me character and personality contribute more to business success or problems than skills or know-how.  You may have experienced situations where colleagues didn't notice or sense the need to make character changes, and you felt the brunt of it.  You may ignore personality issues inside yourself or fail to notice the impact of the character around you in your own office.

Results matter and sales turnover speaks volumes.  However, there is more to evaluating a position, a company or a colleague than dollars and cents. How do you break down expenses? That is, how do you understand the costs of having certain people in your office based on their behavior and interaction internally and externally?  Think about yourself too.  In which ways do you contribute to the overall value of your workplace, your career and your sense of esteem?

1) When do you sense a glass ceiling or a barrier?  If you sense you're stuck in a role or position that doesn't enable you to show your true colours, ask yourself why you're there.  You may be ill-prepared to manage situations effectively, have superiors that react negatively to you or, your personality may cause more harm than good.  Your goal needs to steer toward positive change.

2)  How often do you re-group?   You may have known people who refuse to let go of an agenda even if its dated or doesn't take into account key issues.  Not attaining the progress you desire on your terms is also reason to step back, re-group your thoughts, consult with people for advice, and realize that your way isn't necessarily the right wau or the prefereable way to go.   

3)  Why you known success then lost it?  Administration, liquidation or bankruptcy might come up to cause you to lose your sense of bearings.  How might a hypothetical or real disaster help you to better understand your stengths and weaknesses? Robert Kiyosaki, Donald Trump, P.T. Barnum, Henry Ford, Walt Disney and Conrad Hilton, are people who know what its like to live and lose everything.  This fueled their determination to learn from lessons and rebuild their lives. All of them gained insight from financial trouble, filed bankruptcy, and then picked themselves up to redefine their successes.

Twist of fate

What if one of the most effective things you could do was to take the risk to share your fears with another person? This kind of action may bring you relief and closure. Ask yourself about the processes you have gone through to reveal what is eating you. How can this enable you to grow?

As a child, I recall the fear I felt about the impact of one of my first cassette tapes. It was the soundtrack from the musical Grease. I was just at the phase where I was hearing curse words. The energy and excitement of this music caused me to blurt out forbidden words. It gave me goose-bumps, at the same time as made me feel guilty about things I didn’t think I should say. When I invited a girlfriend over, we played the music and she was just as affected by the intensity of the lyrics as I was. She enabled me to feel better about expressing these things. She also encouraged me to remember a time and a place for everything. I sensed a kind of relief, as well as accepted my impulsive self as I was.

At age 12, I recall the fear of going out for the school basketball team. It was a personal dare of sorts and a peer pressure stunt. At the time, I knew very little about this game. I didn’t feel comfortable telling anyone about my fears since I didn’t wish to be “a wimp.” I joined the other girls who prepped for tryouts. When the coach asked us all to perform a ‘lay-up,’ I actually didn’t know what that was. So, I watched the girls ahead of me and gathered the courage to do the best I could. As it turned out, I didn’t exactly make a fool of myself. Yet, I didn’t make the cut either. I stood my ground. The rest was worth it.

During high school, I recall a fear about making a trial for the cross country running team. At the time, a guy I liked was trying out and his presence motivated me to give it a go. Although I had ice skated, I had never run before. A spark of doubt in my mind nearly caused me to reconsider, telling me I wasn’t capable. Luckily, a stronger side of me was more determined. I decided I could run with the best of them. Although that guy decided not to join, I did. Running became like meditation for me. I learned value in being alone with myself. Admittedly, I certainly didn’t win many races, but my peers voted me “most valuable team player” for other team contributions. To connect with people became a way to stop and take note of what mattered. You might say running pursuits led me to embrace other life challenges and I stretched more than my hamstrings.

As I got older, I have experienced fear in regard to moving to different countries and adapting to my surroundings. Funny, it is precisely deep feelings of discomfort that have prompted me to embrace the benefits of transitions. Why not open new doors and redefine meaning and satisfaction in life? I’ve learned denial of some opportunities isn’t necessarily negative. Each time I identify a sense of rejection, I re-orient and take a risk to define other pursuits which may be better for me. Or, I rethink how I see where I am.

The paradox of fear

Fear by Pablo Neruda

Everyone is after me to exercise, get in shape, play football, rush about, even go swimming and flying.  Fair enough.

Everyone is after me to take it easy. They all make doctor’s appointments for me, eyeing me in a quizzical way.  What is it?

Everyone is after me to take a trip, to come in, to leave, not to travel, to die and, alternatively, not to die. It doesn't matter.

Everyone is spotting oddnesses in my innards, suddenly shocked by radio-awful diagrams.I don't agree with them.

Everyone is picking at my poetry with their relentless knives and forks, trying, no doubt, to find a fly. I am afraid.

I am afraid of the whole world,afraid of cold water, afraid of death.  I am as all mortals are, unable to be patient.

And so, in these brief, passing days, I shall put them out of my mind. I shall open up and imprison myself with a most treacherous enemy, Pablo Neruda.

As you interpret between the lines, is the poet not encouraging you to spend time with yourself while you still can? If you learn to listen to yourself, then you'll answer the question, "now what?"  The time is now to discern your fears, pin them down, identify who imposes them and share your story.  The paradox of fear is to learn how confronting them is the first step to diminishing them.

Systematic results

The nature of your goal-setting will become more effective and more rewarding if you identify how a number of issues factor into larger equation.  Learning to brainstorm and sift through your true priorities will enable you to reach the most fulfilling goals on a timeline that works for you.  These sample areas offer ideas as you begin to isolate goals that motivate who you are.  Examining varied areas of your life in detail will assist you to be the best you can be and realize potential.

1) Gender/ culture: whether you're male or female & cultural conditioning are key.

2) Life phase: wherever you are in career or relationships deserves attention.

3) Health: professional advice could impact how you perceive your potential.

4) History: what have you convinced yourself you could accomplish? 

5) Vision: how you see where you are, challenges and the future begin with you.