On the Path to uncover and heal my own trauma and addictions, it feels natural to encourage others to take steps to gain new insight into themselves.
Inspirational stories shake us up to wake us up. They invite each of us to recognize what we admire in, and what triggers about others, is dormant in us. When it feels right, we see through separation to all we have in common, change how we perceive and respond to life.
Recently, in facing big challenges, synchronicity led me to the book Kundalini Running (2018). Intuition guided me to interview the author, Doug Wilson. I share share a glimpse of his remarkable story. It invites each of us to reflect on our own lives, and to trust in what is blossoming.
Thanks Doug, for being here.
My pleasure.
My life calling guides me to people who have experienced deep trauma (or guides them to me). We gain something from each other. Your story offers insight into moving beyond addictions, including; psychoactive and other drugs, alcohol and an unconscious pattern of repressing emotional trauma. Please comment.
In my book, I share that earlier in my life, I craved the freedom and release that drugs and alcohol brought me. It was the only way I could escape the loneliness and tedious life routine I had unconsciously fallen into. I was afraid of facing the truth: I didn’t know how to be at ease with life and experience it as a beautiful happening, as an opportunity to learn, grow and evolve.
You are certainly not alone. Everyone is in recovery from something. Many people are lonely and unconsciously driven by fear in job and environments they dislike. Your drug experiences, including recreational and medical cannabis, reflect widespread social phenomena.
This said, it is often overlooked that caffeine, alcohol and sugar are the three most accessible and widely-consumed legal drugs in the world. And people wonder why they swing between feeling over-stimulated and depressed? Luckily, growing aware of our habits prompts shifts. Your food choices, for instance, have really changed!
They definitely have. I became vegan. You can read more in my interview for vegan of the week with Melanie Eager.
Thanks! My life has also guided me and many others into a vegan lifestyle. Love how your book shares 'why' and invites us all to ask more often. Your story shows us physical challenges are also mental, so we uncover what we are made of.
When life brings us full circle, its a wake up call...
And we can ignore the signs or listen. Your story echoes we cannot run away from ourselves forever. So, how did early ideas of success influence your addictions?
A well-paid career, world travel and achievements in global endurance running, made me believe that I ticked all the boxes laid out by a society I was lost in. Of course, that view of success has changed...
Brain tumor surgery and rehab changes a lot! What's inspiring is your will to live to the fullest, despite unexpected challenges. Although we may falter, your story invites us to face fears, relax more, go beyond comfort zones and find strength.
Yes. What we resist, persists...
Love that the same lesson can take shape in our lives in different ways until we get it. Sometimes we get a similar situation arise again as we are ready to grow conscious of a deeper message. Its like every moment is an oportunity to see differently.
Share with us your view of your ‘Dark night of the Soul.’
A self-inflicted period of complete emptiness with no sense of trust within myself or the world around me.
It feels like your book also reveals ‘the dark night of the soul’ is like a confronting initiation. The book echoes that each of us reaches points in life where our core beliefs are challenged, where we face uneasiness, where our familiar illusions are stripped away, and we feel we stand alone in the presence of the divine.
Yes. This process is both liberating and discomforting.
How does this validate you were imbalanced, living an inauthentic life?
I lived between states of extreme highs and lows, of uncertainty and certainty. I don’t see this as an inauthentic state of being, but rather a period of time to establish the foundations for what I needed to learn about myself and ultimately work to overcome. The darkness is still a part of my life’s journey that I am grateful for.
I really resonate with this. In your book, you draw attention to the healing that can occur when we stop ignoring deeper dimensions of life. You notice shared stories of mental, emotional, physical or other abuse from a young age, disconnection or abandonnment issues, feelings of hurt, hopelessness and disconnection. Your take on things offers hope and encouragement for those who read your book.
Awesome!
Share an example where you relapsed into old addictions, while attempting overcome one of your weaknesses on the path to living true to yourself?
Right now! I'm struggling to maintain trust that the choices I’ve made over the past few years have been in line with my life’s purpose. The lingering sense of fear and uncertainty remain around where my life is heading… I want reassurance that everything is going to work out the way I imagined it would - but that’s not the truth. It’s hard to trust in the process of the unknown and I often find myself thinking about heading back to the more familiar.
Your honesty reminds us that self-acceptance is about noticing where we are and how we feel in the present moment without judgement. So often, we are conditioned to time travel between the ears, to shift between past and future.
Western society conditions us that way.
It reminds me of this: "If we are living in the past, we are depressed. If we are anxious, we are living in the future. If we are at peace, we are fully present." (quote credited to Lao Tzu, yet anxiety and depression strike me as modern ills...)
Anyway, what do facing recurrent challenges teach you about yourself?
That life presents challenges for us so we can learn of our capabilities. It’s a choice to shy away or confront them.
Indeed. As Joseph Campbell suggests, we are each on a hero's journey, embarking on an adventure, encountering a decisive crisis, working through it to a victory, and as the result, feel changed or transformed.
Good analogy.
During the process of rebuilding your life, at which stage did healing cellular memories/ emotional trauma come into it?
6 months after undergoing a life-saving brain surgery I was wondering how to take care of myself on a fundamental level of health & wellbeing. I was constantly asking myself what I needed to do to ensure I wouldn’t end up back in hospital…? A twist of fate led me to energy healing. My first session exposed the roots of cellular memories and significance of emotional trauma. The session was the catalyst for changing the direction of my life.
I can definitely attest to the life -changing impact of breathwork. Like Kundalini, breathwork is a clearing process on all levels (spiritual, mental, physical, emotional, ect.) It brings up cellular memories of self of evolutionary mind and as a collective to be felt and dealt with.
Agreed. All conditionings come up to be cleared.
How did spiritual practices become part of your life?
To me life itself is a spiritual practice. I’ve always known the nature of spirit that lies within but have had varying states of awareness/connection to it. Everything has roots in spirituality.
Which ones did you explore? (i.e. yoga, breathwork, ect).
I explored various energy healing modalities and Kundalini Yoga & Meditation.
Why lean toward kundalini yoga?
Kundalini Yoga leaned towards me. The power of the practice suited my nature. It's been incredibly rapid in developing my self-awareness. I continue to be blown away by its ability to scientifically and therapeutically transform my body, mind and soul.
In your book, you point out Kundalini isn’t synonymous with Kundalini Yoga…
That’s right. Kundalini is the potential energy of a human organism, a creative force that’s described extensively across many historical traditions and cultures. Kundalini is a natural phenomenon of energy. It powers creativity and can be individuals in infinite ways. We can increase the voltage and change how the energy moves through the central nervous system.
From my point of view, kundalini energy rising is different for each who experience it. Yet I also resonate with how you present it and can certainly relate. Every stage is not always comfortable yet, stretching out of the coccoon is part of life. Just ask a butterfly...
Now, of all the sports you could have chosen to motivate your rehab, why running?
I’d been into adventure marathon running prior to my diagnosis of the brain tumor. My rehabilitation was focused around being able to run a marathon as soon as possible after surgery. I felt that if I could do that I would be fully recovered and back to the life I knew prior to being sick.
Although I have not yet run marathons, I can relate to lots of good reasons to run shorter distances. But tell us, why run so many races?
My nature is to do things in excess.
Why choose to run in such unique and remote places?
I enjoy the challenge of travelling to a remote corner of the world to race in an extreme environment. It’s something that suits my personality and a way for me to channel some addictive energy in a positive direction.
Is winning important to your current sense of success?
No - but competing at my best is. I use racing as a measure of my potential.
I love how your book echoes running allows you to compete against yourself, that you find satisfaction pushing yourself at every stage of training or a race, from beginning to end. Its a measure of your personal best. It echoes focusing inward.
What advice would you offer for anyone going through a shift from fearing authority to developing and becoming an authority?
Give it time and patience. Avoid the trap of thinking the works is done. The process of developing ourselves is long and happens in stages.
Indeed. A great reminder that everything unfolds with perfect timing. An invitation to surrender and love what is unfolding. We can always find blessings.
Share some pivotal moments that affected your heart opening.
I’ve had a number of life experiences that go beyond my normal, familiar realms of perception. Two very specific encounters where the centre of my awareness was set free by a flash of light with such immense power and beauty that it opened my heart and shone truth behind my eyes. It exposed me to the timeless, unconditional and undying love that radiates within everything and connected me with that truth.
Thank you for feeling at ease to share such intimate experiences. This invites each of us to appreciate everything that arises as part of the wider process. To follow and resoante with your example: simplifying life is the road of mindfulness, increased self-awareness and much more.
You have recently written a book, Kundalini Running. Without giving too much away, why share this story and why now?
Our technologic revolution is exposing us to an unprecedented level of information. The excess of information is overloading the internal structures of our bodies. My story is an example of what this overload leads to - poor health and wellbeing. A common story, but the way I overcame it has a unique twist. It offers a powerful message of hope and shows that change is possible despite the challenges we face in life.
In the book, I love that you point out we cannot be happy all the time and truly live. This is a lesson I have learned along my own journey. When we attempt to be positive all the time, this is often hiding pain we are denying or repressing. Only by uncovering our emotional trauma and feeling all emotions do we truly live. There is also a saying that unless where are giving from the heart, we are half dead and may not even know it.
Some people assume kundalini awakening is a synonym for Self-realisation. What is your view and experience?
I think they are two separate aspects of life.
Kundalini awakening is a function of human anatomy. We can do very specific work to prepare ourselves for this in order to raise the energy safely.
Self-realisation is a process. Everyone goes through varying degrees of it throughout their lifetimes.
Share some life-changing revelations you have about voices and visions often symptoms of kundalini awakening.
The times where I have had immense releases of kundalini energy have resulted in clear and concise information forming at the centre of my awareness. I’ve seen very precise, colourful geometric patterns that relay information along with sounds that reinforce the experience, but not heard any voices so to speak.
Love that the processes and experiences arising are, intended, among other things, to show us that all is created and sustained by the mind, that the transient is transparent and empty in nature. The problem arises if we cling and want to make 'sense' within, 'normal life.'
Whatever happens invites us to see through the identifications, shows us what we are not.
Exactly. Please comment about the fear of losing a sense of self.
For me the fear is of the unknown.
Tell us your current life focus, where we can learn more about you, upcoming events.
My current focus is getting my story out to a wider audience. My aim is to share life experience through my book, classes and workshops. I believe we've entered a period of change where traditional medical practices will merge with modern ones. I want to be at the forefront of this.
IG @kundalini_running
FB https://www.facebook.com/kundalinirunning/events/
Great to see that your book is making it into library systems and other local venues. Clearly, your story is perfectly positioned to spark dialogue in a variety of spheres.
Share any lasting message you wish to leave with our readers.
Stop buying into the concept that life is only about love and positivity. While these a great aspects of humanity they ignore the full spectrum of what it is to be a human being. Pain, suffering and emotions like anger are part of being human. We need to acknowledge this within and spend time understanding our pain and suffering in the same way we understand self-love.
Appreciate very much that youtake time to for this dialogue. I highly recommend your book and will spread the word. It invites us to awaken and trust ourselves more. Also invite visitors to explore yoga and especially kundalini yoga if it resonates. Doug Wilson may be the teacher you are looking for! Ultimately, we are each on a path to deepen self-love. This involves exploring the gamut of emotions.