How many times in life do you tell yourself to behave in a certain way with the thought this will bring you a certain outcome? The linear way of seeing is conditioned and a common assumption.
The ego will have you believe your behaviour determines a certain outcome, even when the unfolding is meant to be regardless of your behavior. Perception alters experience.
Get this: the terms and conditions of your experience are pre-determined before your incarnation. Yet, you can make choices to change how you see, feel, live the quality of each moment.
Brace yourself: your choices do not make things happen. Your choices determine the quality of the experience you are living out. You are only talking to a screen, versions of yourself.
Ultimately, every experience you have is an invitation to recognize the heart is always open. Love flows freely unless you get in the way. As adversity arises and you get emotional, ego is dissolving from your field, and you are being more authentic and deserve more love. Every experience invites you to be loving and to appreciate yourself more.
Thus, unexpected change has the power to inspire your deepest growth. When your focus and attention are not on loving yourself more then you unconsciously and energetically create relationships and conditions that invite you to do this.