Human beings often search for clarification of purpose. They seek tangibles when they experience intangibles. The mind longs for the material when the heart embraces the spiritual. You wonder what to do next and are simultaneously blind to being a full time co-creator. What now? Where to go next?
Whatever your sense of consciousness or unconsciousness, you could decide this does not matter. You could also decide that your life depends on enlightenment and assume a shortcut must exist to get it. This may go on inside mind indefinitely, it may not. You may also sense darkness shifts into light.
As it happens, existential longing is not something the human mind is equipped to measure or define. The reason you exist is not to achieve, accomplish or accumulate. Its all about expanding what you do not see and what others can only sense through their own experience. Love, compassion and joy are you. To expand into awareness now and forever is what you do. To be conscious is evolving. To accept is why you exist.