People around you are all at differents stages of self-awareness, just like your energy fields vibrate differently and you live on phases of your life. What would it take for you to let go of a need for more or less that you are? Have you lost a sense of balance?
Many people evolve to find themselves perpetually contemplating one thing or another. Does it feel right? Would that be the best decision to make? Could you catch up with those friends who are at a different level? Do you really desire to do that?
Your life is aboutyour own comings and goings in the physical world. Each perceived ending is another beginning. You can grow to trust that your highest nature will emerge amidst whatever seems to be unfolding around you. You must claim your greatness to experience what it means to be in the right place for you at this moment.
In essence, you are never ahead or behind. You seek obscurity as a means to move beyond the obvious. Whenver you sense you are not where you should be, then you are preventing soul from guiding you. Listen and learn. Fantastic revelations are emerging.