When it comes to relationships, we make all our choices for conscious and unconscious reasons. How would your life be different if you began to consciously recognize unhealthy behaviour patterns and change? Modifying your behaviour doesn't necessarily mean you get to the root of your conditioning. How do you know if your assumptions uncover what you see or, only what you would like to see? Do you really know yourself?
Take your current partner. To acknowledge the truth of what is happening in your life within your relationships, you need to be willing to take responsibility for your half of making or watching it happen. As you reflect on your conditions, you can, when ready, gradually grow to see where your beliefs and agreements create where you are.
One man shared a story. He felt that as his personal life took off in a good way, unforeseen obstacles appeared to repeatedly annoy him or push his goals out of reach. For example, his business partner cheated him and their business folded. Then, stress and financial strain mounted. As finances grew healthier, he was wrongfully accused of an unrelated crime he didn't commit that complicated smoother sailing. Then, even wedding plans seemed to him problematic as mysterious glitches appeared.
Always remind yourself apparent challenges are blessings. They help us deal with self-centeredness, self-importance and self-esteem issues. In order to benefit, a person has to be willing to address the underlying reasons for self-sabotage. Your choice of how to react to other people determines whether you take their behavior personally. As you come to realize you don't always have to prove you're right, your perspective changes. You take responsibility for yourself and certain things no longer matter. You can grow.
What if you decided to release all your expectations about everything and everyone? This would require detaching from rigid points of view about why you think things should work in a certain way. This process takes courage, discipline, self-control. Are you ready?