Success is perceived differently by everybody. Each of us has views on a lifestyle or activities that define our most appealing vision, let's say its like our "piece de resistance." You may wonder if its okay to change your view on this, and wonder how others will react to any changes in your behavior. As the result of my recent trip to Istanbul, Turkey, I share a story that offers a perspective on dream-making.
I met a man who runs his small hotel as a family business. It appears modest on the outside and has simple ethnic decor inside. You may ask how the business came to be. As it happens, the owner used to be a chef in fast-paced London (U.K.) restaurants. He climbed the ranks, worked busy days, six-days per week in some fascinating venues. For some chefs, success is apprenticing with masters, working in key restuarants, or becoming head somewhere yourself. This man had done much yet, felt dissatisfied. He felt afraid he was missing out on his son's childhood.
Lo and behold, this chef startled a few people and made a big change. He decided to move back to his wife's home country and explore a new lifestyle and options. When he initially moved, his thought was to open a restaurant cooking his favorite cuisine. Yet, locals weren't enamoured by this kind of cooking. So, he devised a new dream, went out on a limb and chose to open a small hotel. What an adventure!
Obtaining required permits was time-consuming. Contractors were hard to find. Then, not only did they ignore building rules and codes, the agencies meant to enforce them ignored the hotel owner's complaints. He paid for materials and contractors didn't provide the agreed-on service. Imagine when lawyers and inspectors advised the building had to be torn down and rebuilt due to questionable infrastructure. People the hotel owner also thought were friends turned their backs on him during his hardship. The man was devastated with it all. Yet, he had the building re-done, incurred a big financial loss, and re-evaluated his meaningful relationships. Now, business is growing. His experience taught him useful things:
1) Opportunities to learn are everywhere. No matter where you are, or what choices you've made, they are the right ones for you at the time. Its simply a question of evolving to trust your instincts and choosing to learn from whatever is unfolding. After all, you're here to learn. How you shape this life is up to you.
2) Obstacles will arise. Tests are predictable. This could seem like a test of your physical strength, your emotional staying power, your mental resilience. On some level, its all the same. You need to convince yourself you're worthy, that you really want what you think you want. Its time to determine what you really value.
3) You control more than you realize. You may not control other people, but you control how you react to them and to your circumstances. You have repeated invitations to make the most of where you are. If you haven't been in the habit of recognizing them, its time that you do. Since your life is the result of your thoughts and actions, you are the captain of your ship. Your life experience gives you occasions to learn to sail. When will you put out the jib?