People talk about what kinds of relationships they desire in their lives. You may begin by listing the traits of your perfect partner, what he or she would do for you, how you would like to be treated.  Maybe you envision yourself lying down on a sofa while your partner does all your housework, looks after the pet, the kids and even feeds you grapes.  The intimacy would be tender and tantalizing and the communication would always be clear. Perhaps you'd simply write a recipe and give it to a magic server as if you placed an order in a special restaurant. This vision you create may differ from your current reality.  Any chance to enable them to meet half-way? 

It is said that if you imagine something, that potential exists to make it real. Wouldn't we all like to think we would realize our ideal relationship visions? You can read books, place personal ads and participate in talk shows. Be careful though, because you may get exactly what you ask for.

Of course, your reply, might be, "Well great! Bring it on!" Yet, you may not realize that we must pay a price for each experience, even those we hope for and invite into our lives. There's a real trade-off somewhere we may or may not anticipate. You might say that the universe exerts efforts and requires us to exert some effort in order to keep a balance.

So, when you desire something to change in your current relationship, or you seek a new partner, maybe even hope and pray, remind yourself that you also need to offer something in return. In which ways do you already give of yourself? In what new ways could you offer yourself? What kinds of incentive are you prepared to offer to attract affections and attention of a person? What can you do to enhance your current relationship to recognize value that you and your partner already offer? What lengths would you be willing to go to keep this individual in your life?

The idea of giving things up can begin with things as simple as making space in your closet for the belongings of someone else. Why not clean out the garage to make room for someone else's car? You can cut back on time you spend out with your friends in order to put some aside for someone special. As you redefine priorities, you will discover how changing little things can mean a lot.

Yet, would you be willing to go further? If your current partner or someone new who seems well-suited,discovers a kidney problem, would you be willing to donate your own compatible kidney? Would you donate your blood if it would be compatible? Would you be ready to suffer financially to enrich the life of this person? Would you give up your job to move to a new city or bend over backwards to accommodate the person? What about establish new kinds of limits What would you be willing to change about you?  Remind yourself that by giving things up, or making changes in the best interest of someone else, you will actually be gaining a far more meaningful life that you can share. How you focus your mindset and evolve in your attitude determine what you'll give up.