We hear it often.  Friends tell you they're looking for that special someone. Who is this person anyway? You may know people who list traits to help them figure out how to work backwards and find the person they would really like to be themselves. Does this sound like you? Maybe you analyze the sorts of qualities in a person whom you believe would be compatible with you or not. If your confused about the kind of person you seek or question whether you're with 'the right partner,' consider the following questions to help you discover how you feel and what you want:

1) Does this person bring out the best in you? If a person draws negative energies out of you, such as the desire to throw things, give the 'silent treatment,' stand-the-person-up in places, spurt out insults, or to repress your true feelings, then the person isn't developing your strengths.

2) Would you rewind and relive special moments? If a person never takes steps to express tender feelings, such as to demonstrate affection, to devote time to make you feel cherished and appreciated on your birthday, anniversary or other occasions, the person isn't valuing you like you deserve. Ask yourself how you would desire to be treated and compare this with how you are. 

3) Does the person energize and inspire you? If you're not the quiet type who likes gardening, books, classical music and poetry, then its conceivable that a heavy metal rock singer or a sumo wrestler wouldn't be your type. Being around individuals, listening to them talk and sharing in what they do will give you get a sense of whether they intrigue you or compel you to run away.

4)Could their habits 'get your goat?' If your you meet a person who is known to burp, fart and outdo people in eating and drinking contests, and challenge other people with unhealthy habits, these patterns may be the tip of the iceberg. If you feel uncomfortable around people because of how they look, what they do or say, their behavior helps you clarify your own values and principles, goals,desireable manners and etiquette. If people annoy you, compatibility is out.

5) Would you hope to be seen together? If a person totally embarasses you at every possible chance and wouldn't be the sort of person you would bring home to meet the family, this may not a good sign. Remind yourself its not how a person looks that means so much but how that person enables you to feel about you that matters. After all, when teeth and hair fall out, body shape changes and voice cracks, humor still counts.

Everyone you meet will not be your soul mate. Your soul mate is actually yourself. The better you get-to-know your likes and dislikes, habits, desires, hopes and dreams, the more likely you'll be to find someone who compliments them and encourages you to be yourself.  Everyone you meet either reflects traits in yourself or mirrors what you aren't and don't want. It's always in your power to change. If you choose to evolve, it shouldn't be because someone tells you. Decide for yourself.