Dr. Liara Covert

Holistic Coach
Breathwork Psychotherapist
Sunshine Coast, Queensland


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Entries in suffering (17)


5 questions to ask

Here are 5 questions to ask yourself:

1. Why resist or seek to get beyond a particular feeling?

2. Who is it that must / must not get angry or should not complain?

3. What is really happening as you suffer in silence?

4. When you take action to get somewhere {make progress) where are you headed? 

5. Which choices enable you to get to truly be happy?


40 Maxims from Jordan Peterson

Canadian academic Jordan Peterson has written the bestseller, 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos.  He is currently in Australia for a 3 city tour of thought-provoking presentations.  Love to hear impressions from anyone attending his March 16 Brisbane talk. Share in comments below. Does it blow the mind?

The points he highlights touch on universal wisdom.  What is most intriguing is how he draws from something you cannot put your finger on as well as that which you can. He is an individual with understanding of interconnections among disciplines, people and events and presents information in ways that prompt people to awaken and review their lives to find new meaning. 

In Quora, he was asked this question:

“What are the most valuable things everyone should know?”

Rather than answering long-hand, he got right to the point with 40 maxims.  They resonate with many people as truth though he says they also draw from his own research. Which ones stand out? Would you add any other rules you live by? 

Tell the truth. 
Do not do things that you hate. 
Act so that you can tell the truth about how you act. 
Pursue what is meaningful, not what is expedient.
If you have to choose, be the one who does things, instead of the one who is seen to do things.
Pay attention.
Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you need to know. Listen to them hard enough so that they will share it with you.
Plan and work diligently to maintain the romance in your relationships. 
Be careful who you share good news with.
Be careful who you share bad news with.
Make at least one thing better every single place you go.
Imagine who you could be, and then aim single-mindedly at that. 
Do not allow yourself to become arrogant or resentful. 
Try to make one room in your house as beautiful as possible.
Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today.
Work as hard as you possibly can on at least one thing and see what happens.
If old memories still make you cry, write them down carefully and completely.
Maintain your connections with people. 
Do not carelessly denigrate social institutions or artistic achievement. 
Treat yourself as if you were someone that you are responsible for helping.
Ask someone to do you a small favour, so that he or she can ask you to do one in the future.
Make friends with people who want the best for you.
Do not try to rescue someone who does not want to be rescued, and be very careful about rescuing someone who does. 
Nothing well done is insignificant.
Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world.
Dress like the person you want to be.
Be precise in your speech.
Stand up straight with your shoulders back.
Don't avoid something frightening if it stands in your way -- and don't do unnecessarily dangerous things.
Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them.
Do not transform your wife into a maid.
Do not hide unwanted things in the fog.
Notice that opportunity lurks where responsibility has been abdicated.
Read something written by someone great.
Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street.
Do not bother children when they are skateboarding. 
Don't let bullies get away with it.
Write a letter to the government if you see something that needs fixing -- and propose a solution.
Remember that what you do not yet know is more important than what you already know.
Be grateful in spite of your suffering.


Monk wisdom is here

One day, a loyal young monk witnessed conversation between a very rich businessman and his master. Seeing how disrespectful the business man was, the monk was angry. But his master kept smiling.

When the conversation was over, the monk asked the master,

“Master, how can you let him treat you like that? He thinks he is much higher than you, he’s so full of pride, and greed. How can you be so patient? I cannot help but to resent him!”

In response, the master patted him on the shoulder.

“Look deeper, and see; behind every pride is the fear of not being acknowledged by others; behind every greed is the fear of lack or losing something. Seeing that fearful man, I cannot help but to feel compassion toward him; and wish he is freed from such sufferings.”

Hearing this, the monk was silent.


Be aware 

Be aware.  Step back to observe how the mind functions. Notice stillness and what is engaged when you think or feel a current.  What is your focus of attention as you choose to agree or disagree? If you dislike something in your life, notice what happens as you change your thoughts. Harness the power of mind. Recall who is actually captain or master of this ship.

It is always possible to detach from conditions, to stop thinking, comparing, judging. All it takes is  letting go. Call it a shift inward if you will. Flow into a new mindstream. Engage the senses mindfully. Notice the waves simply arise and pass through you. All currents, forms of resistance, emotional reaction and suffering, cease. Peace and compassion flow freely now.  Feel it.  Be that.

"In fact, everything we encounter in this world with our six senses is an inkblot test.
You see what you are thinking and feeling, seldom what you are looking at."


Move beyond the suffering

When you get upset, lose focus or balance, pay attention to what your emotions are telling you.  Stop giving credit to others for the way they seem to behave.  The world around you only ever responds based on your expectations.  Notice what happens when you are alone.  Notice what agitates you, makes you feel impatient.  Notice what happens as you separate yourself from source.  You cannot be mad at someone or be afraid of anything and be true to yourself.  Brace yourself: a conflict with anything is a conflict with yourself.  So, what can you do about it?

1) Stop allowing yourself to be offended.  Whatever offends you only weakens you.  Being offended creates the same destructive energy as that which is used to press your emotional buttons in the first place.  Monitor your thoughts and inner dialogue.  Nothing irritates you unless you allow it.  What to do? Stop resisting. Look deeper at the nature of your own suffering. It actually begins and ends with you.  The real issue is a yen to control the uncontrollable.

2) Let go of your need to be right.  You are conditioned to believe some people are right and others are wrong.  If you allow yourself to get agitated, you are disconnected from your loving, creative spirit.  Letting go of the need to be right helps you embrace kindness and gratitude for lessons at hand.  Imagine yourself in another's shoes.  Would you feel the same as you do in your own skin?  Would you behave in the same way or see more than one 'right way'?

3) Give up the desire to win, compete or be superior.  Whenever you get stirred up, and lose sight of inner peace, observe the ego.  As you let go of the desire to be better than others, you recall a feeling of calmness.  You begin to see all experience invites you to evolve within yourself, to see the nature of impermanence.  Give up any unwholesome state of mind.  Sadness, grief, fear, regret, and pity do not arise when you have true self-understanding. As you feel inner gentleness, you strengthen compassionate, wholesome states of mind.  Love reigns.  The heart knows all is always well, that everything is equal, that every situation is win-win for all. 

4) Know its all unfolding in divine order.  Whatever your role or stage in life, you attract the perfect conditions and people.  See things from a higher vantage point.  When people do not show up to assist you, then you have the skills, self-discipline and emotional intelligence to handle it on your own.  Before you judge others, ask yourself how you would deal with the situation from their perspective.  Only when you know the cause of suffering is that the end of suffering. You benefit others by nurturing a non-judging mind, and keeping an open heart.

5) Recognize you cannot separate wisdom from compassionYou know things as they truly are through your own direct experience.  The more you grasp reasons for your emotions and your own suffering, the more you understand the suffering of others. You strengthen a more conscious connection with all beings.  Be loving and kind toward yourself. Accept you are not who you think.  Forgive yourself.  Ask yourself questions and allow answers to emerge. Nothing fazes the essence of being. You can inspire people into a place of non-suffering by existing in this state.  Be present.  By direct inner seeing, you see what matters without study, logic or reason. 

"You can't suffer yourself into their understanding.  You have to succeed yourself into their success." -Esther Hicks

"Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit.  Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset."  - St Francis de Sales