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Entries in self-respect (6)


11 Tips to embrace change with grace

More and more people are growing aware of changes and opportunities for change are unfolding all around them. 

You may find yourself feeling confused, uncomfortable, getting emotional more often, noticing opportunity for change knocking at your door or change happening without you in different situations.  Consider 11 tips for embacing change with grace:

1) Focus inward

Pay attention to how you are thinking and feeling. Be aware of core beliefs you project are what reflects and your external reality.

2) Notice your emotional triggers

Being aware of your emotional triggers implies not only recognizing when you are triggered, uncovering and healing deeper reasons for them.  This empowers you to create a new reality.

3) Talk less, listen more

Rather than listen with the intent to reply, listen with the intent to understand how you/ people are feeling. This approach offers surprising insight into why it feels easy or hard to go with the flow of change.

4) Validate yourself

Validating yourself is being heartfelt. Listening to the heart means taking more action based on intuition, and having the courage to do what feels right rather than on what you are conditioned to believe is acceptable or would appease others.

5) Invest more in personal development

When spiritual or related programs, workshops, courses, books, videos, coaches or mentoring enter your scope, you are ready.  Its up to you to see the value in investing in yourself and actually commit.

6) Offer workshops or courses

Share insight based on your passion, interest or hobby. Join skillshare, offer your own on-line courses, propose a physical airbnb experience in your local area.  The options are only limited by your imagination. 

7) See everything is connected

What is happening in education, economies, religion and other spheres is all connected.  From the moment you grow more aware of trends and interconnectedness, you begin to see through illusions of separation on a whole new level.

8) Accept yourself

The degree you accept (or reject) yourself is reflected back in every area of your perception and life. As you grow in tolerance and understanding of the world around you, this reflects changing self-acceptance.

9) Love more

As you can begin to find something to appreciate whatever you perceive to be happening, you are beginning to see through your own filters of judgement and negativity. Resistance to change is akin to resisting love.

10) Feel deeper

Feelings are key to understanding yourself and why you choose to suffer, see and create the world as you do. Suppressing feelings is the conditioned way to live.  The more you explore your feelings in the moment and along timelines rather than overlook or deny them, the more you begin to understand yourself and why you accept or resist your destiny in thi s (and other) lifetime (s).

11) Explore breathwork

Consciousness flows through the breath.  Exploring breathwork is a kind of rebirthing process which allows you to gain invaluable insight into how and why you create habits, behaviours and patterns. All of this shapes your perception of Self and the external. It helps you understand your unconscious motives for creating and responding to change. Nothing transforms your life like making the unconscious conscious.


Joy is a stepping stone

As you nurture faith, joy can arise.  Trust the universe, come what may, and joy is all that is felt. Suddenly, you know that whatever you need presents in your life without openly asking for it.  When you ask for things, you simply postpone what is here in the moment you are receptive.  Turn your head to the side and glimpse a spider spinning a web.  Notice how it feels to be a dew droplet glistening in the midst of this unfolding miracle.  Whatever you do, you are a miracle.

A joyful feeling of self-respect or good conscience is a stepping stone to deeper happiness and fuller concentration on what is real. Notice that to focus on what feels good, on what reflects balance and harmony, is deeply calming. Focusing on what does not appear to be going smoothly evokes a sense that something needs fixing or improving, and you take steps to make it happen.  In this case, effort appears to be a stepping stone to joy that you tell yourself is within reach.

Notice what bliss feels like. The deeper the focus on joy, the clearer the insight that arises.


Dalai Lama's Tips for Good Karma

You need not be Buddhist or follow any particular religion to resonate with the idea of cause and effect. Remember what good karma feels like? Or can you at lest imagine it? Watch what happens as you observe your thoughts and behave in ways that invite good karma. What goes around comes around.

Here’s The Dalai Lama's top 20, otherwise known as his Instructions for Life. Notice which tips are already second nature and which tips beckon you to take them on-board...

  1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
  2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
  3. Follow the three R’s: Respect for SELF, Respect for OTHERS and Responsibility for all your ACTIONS.
  4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
  5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
  6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great relationship.
  7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
  8. Spend some time alone every day.
  9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of heartfelt values.
  10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
  11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
  12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
  13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
  14. Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality.
  15. Be gentle with the earth.
  16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
  17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
  18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
  19. If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.
  20. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.

"We can let the circumstances of our lives harden us so that we become increasingly resentful and afraid, or we can let them soften us, and make us kinder. We always have the choice."-
Dalai Lama


Why surrender to broader knowing?

Every moment of physical existence, you are conditioned to resist what the heart tells you.  This happens as you are invited to adopt language and symbols, as you are taught to make choices that please others, as you are inclined to favor doubt over intuition.  That which you hold as your object of attention is part of your way of filtering and exploring what matters. You engage in life with selective awareness by choice.

Now, in this moment, new perspectives are always arising. Beyond the body you see, the essence of being is actually a force of energy. It sends you messages from a state of complete allowing, a state of no resistance.  That is, your personal perspective shifts into an observer. This witness is a perspective of broader, cosmic knowing.  It does not judge, doubt or fear.  As a pure consciousness, you are non-physically focused. This energy vibration is the most dominant vibrational part of you that shapes your perceived experience. So, why surrender to this broader knowing? Why Be your Dream now?

Notice what happens as you observe the ego mind rather than believe all it says and allow yourself to be contolled by it.  Focus shifts to unconditional love and appreciation of everything. Difference no longer exists. You see everything as a divine reflection. There is no separation. If you encounter conflict or judgment and take it personally, notice your energy vibration. How you feel about others mirrors how you are treating yourself. The state of your external world mirrors the vibration of your inner world.

"All of our reasoning ends in surrender to feeling." -Blaise Pascal

Talk yourself out of a mistake

Consider that no decision you make is ever a mistake. The body does not lie. It has no agenda. It is in a deep relationship with soul.  Listening to impulses and intuition may seem like rebellion to the conscious self. And yet, what the mind concocts is not always truth.  This is a new paradigm.

Let's say you are moving to a mental place where you are learning to detach from judgment and conditioning.  What if you choose to let go of negative ideas, illusions of insecurity, power, and boundaries?  What if you are deciding to feel more vulnerable? Reflect on different ways you can view a situation you initially viewed as a mistake or others do. What else could this mean? Here are 10 possibilities. Expand if you choose;

1) You are honoring your right to choose.

2) You are choosing to mature.

3) You are opting to say what feels right.

4) You are stepping more into true self.

5) You are redefining what it means to respect the self.

6) You are moving into a fear-based place to overcome it.

7) You do not have to explain it or figure it out.

8) You are transcending what you have been taught.

9) You are never alone and guided by the unseen. 

10) You are reminding the self that the unknown is valuable.