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Dr. Liara Covert

Breathwork Psychotherapist, Author, Speaker, Coach


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Entries in self-healing (5)


10 Tips to rendez-vous with destiny

A popular question that arises is how to catch up with destiny. Many people admit they view destiny as a kind of carrot at the end of a fishing line they feel they are often chasing. Although life purpose may change at different life stages, destiny is viewed as your unique and ultimate reason for being. Does this confuse you? You may be asking what you need to do, where to go, to feel at ease or in harmony with yourself. Reflect on 10 tips to r.d.v. with your destiny: 

1. Recognize your 'comfort zone' 

This entails recognizing your comfort zone in different areas of your life and how this limits you.  In general, the more rigid your (or your kids') schedule, the more comfort zones you have created.  If you are caring for other people, (i.e., relations, pets or other friends), the more jam-packed their routine, the more you fear letting go of control, the more you fear spontaneity, fear creating something new, lasting and enriching in your life or feel uncomfortable stepping into the unfamilliar.  Conscious awareness of why you do things greatly empowers you to shift reality.

2. Find the courage to heal

Comfort zones do not just happen.  They are a symptom of repressed/ suppressed negative emotions, unhealed pain and mental suffering. Finding courage to heal implies the willingness to grow aware of triggers and habits (why these arise), and how you numb out or shift focus from the root cause of discomfort. This involves exploring character traits, possible co-dependence, people-pleasing, unconscious self-sabotage, self-hate or rejection and fear-based action.  Discover what blocks true intimacy, connnection, personal fulfillment & professional success. 

3. Stretch yourself

Watch what unfolds as you envision yourself beyond your current circumstances.  Depending on your readiness, this could mean taking up a course or training, shifting into a new vocation, moving geographically, building a dream home, renovating something, changing entourage, or generally building a new foundation from where to grow. Every instance you see things differently, even taking a new route to work, choosing to wear more comfortable shoes, or openly confiding intimate details of your life without fear of vulnerability, you are tasting your destiny. Every moment, you can take steps to find your way. Consider working with a mentor.

4. Adopt an optimistic attitude

The moment is ripe to function with an optimistic attitude. Listen to your thoughts and words more closely. How often do you hear yourself saying, "this is not possible because..." or "the time is not right because...?" Be aware of how often you talk yourself out of what you want, what feels right or do not even allow yourself to explore possibilities beyond habit. Who is really in charge here? Being optimistic is part of the process of reclaiming personal power you gave away. Imagine reclaiming it and letting go of what holds you back. How does your perception shift?

5. Stop acting to appease others

Whether or not its obvious to you at this stage, you are not always acting based on your own heart-felt desires and dreams.  Self-acceptance does not depend on the nature and intensity of your fitness practices or the amount of what you accomplish in the eyes of family or mentors and role models you admire. As you recognize and stop unconscious behaviours that arise to appease others, you move into that place where you do things you only used to speak or dream about.  

6. Tap into unused potential

Imagine the possibility you only use a fraction of your innate intelligence, wisdom and resources.  Remind yourself the moment is ripe to access diverse skills and abilities that you habitually fail to see and use. Know and accept that within you are powers that facilitate everything imaginable you could become. Simply get out of your own way. Talking to yourself can help you clarify what you wish to do or create in life.  Where you are is perfect for this moment and you are catching up with dreams realized by a future version of you watching your progress. 

7. Set new goals

Watch what happens as you give up complacency in favor of extending your wings more fully, of raising the bar for yourself.  Imagine what it feels like to blossom beyond self-created boundaries.  Set new goals that draw out the best in you.  Work toward those things that enable you to develop a sense of mastery and peak performance.  Begin with a pad of paper, writing implement and undivided attention.  Unleash the unthinkable. Let your fingers do the talking.

8. Imagine no limitations

Take a few moments to imagine you have no limitations in terms of money, no time constraints, health issues, no obstacles to contacts, experience, knowledge or education. That is, imagine whatever you write is possible for you, provided you want it genuinely and are willing to make whatever efforts and sacrifices are necessary.  This implies seeing through mid-life crisis. Go on, surprise yourself.  What would it look like?

9. Build unshakable self-confidence

It may surprise you but the mere act of writing dreams on paper takes a concept to the next level while building your self-confidence. Focusing physical and mental energy on specific ideas gives them life.  The process of adding detail and taking steps to realize it generates a greater sense of personal power and ability.  This is not ego-driven arrogance or pride but heartfelt love of life. 

 10.  Achieve peak performance

Achieving peak performance happens as you clarify goals, challenge and revise your own standards, invite feedback, do not take things personally, give yourself heart and soul to what enables you to feel harmony within yourself.  This may seem like a big ask or a tall order.  Yet, it happens naturally when you are in a state of flow because you function with extraordinary energy and clarity. Everything simply comes together. Uncover what you are uniquely qualified to do and be and even the stranger you speak to in passing reveals a connection to where you are heading. Making a meaningful and lasting impact on the world begins with cracking the shield you have build oer your own heart.  Are you ready to be proactive? Let the Soul be your pilot.


7 Tips to see gifts in your defences

Defences are an ingenious gift we give ourselves.  They are strategies that help us get through adversity, trauma, and even survive.  The child's mind and adult mind have unique ways of dealing with discomfort. In order to master yourself, you need to appreciate and grasp ALL levels of defences.  That is, you have to grow conscious of what you are hiding from and why so the unconscious patterns cease to control your patterns of behaviour and projections. This allows you to form ‘the big picture’ of the way all the levels of defences interplay.  Contact us for session details.  Meanwhile, ponder 7 tips to gain new insight into the nature of your own defences:

1. Grow aware of childhood defence mechanisms

2. Get clear on adult defence tendencies

3. Explore character or personality structures that enable you to survive

4. Identify day-to-day behaviours that are defences in disguise

5. Connect defences with emotional blockages

6. Make shadows conscious & heal them

7. Allow effortless transformation to happen

(We all have a Self-Actualising’ Tendency that comes into play once our ‘blockages’ are removed.  In other words, your dreams realize themselves when you know to get out of your own way)

Colors, like features, follow the changes of emotions.- Pablo Picasso


3 Ways to get closer to truth

Whenever an imbalance or illness arises, while its important to treat physical symptoms, unless you recognize and address underlying causes, physical difficulties simply continue.  There's always more going on undetected by the logical mind and physical senses. This is an invitation to pay closer attention, to go deeper into what you resist seeing and addressing within.

1. Take responsibility for the process of your own healing 

This is not about always doing everything yourself. Reaching our for guidance can be helpful.  Deep healing is not about fixing physical issues. Rather, its a much broader process that gets at the root of underlying causes of physical, emotional, psychic or social disfunction. 

2.  Recognize your dysfunctional behaviours

Few people see themselves clearly.  We see through distorted filters of belief which allows us to avoid facing what drives us at the core. This is about making core values that drive the shadow, conscious. So long as you feel unfulfilled or unworthy, for example, you are programmed to compensate for perceived inadequacy in your behaviours.

3. Sacrifice your dysfunctional behaviour

Making the conscious choice to give up certain behaviours takes a lot of courage. It may feel like a sacrifice. Yet, you cannot give up anythng real. When you are ready to explore the true meaning of integrity, and live this on many levels, you are getting closer to who you are. This is about remembering what the flow feels like. It is not about appeasing anyone. It is about letting go.


Reframe illness

If you ever feel under the weather, notice the words you use to describe your state and how experience unfolds to confirm them. Notice what messages the body is sending to you. How do you think and feel about this? This is an opportunity to see through misperceptions.

On the surface, you may feel overtired or over-extended. You may pinpoint restlessness, second guess some of your choices or brainstorm what is next. If you focus on imbalance, sadness, dissatisfaction or rejection, you invite more reasons to feel this way. Be aware of the world you create for yourself.  Only the body is sick. How you view the body and your state of mind changes everything.  Beyond this, what does not change may surprise you.

Watch what happens as you view it all as a teacher. Identify what are you really feeling uneasy or sick about. It's not what you think. Its not the nature of a job, condition, dead pet, or state of relationships that triggers the physical symptoms you notice.  Its not what seems to happen to you, but how you feel about it that affects your energy states.  Shift focus to isolate what you think you fear.  Now, step back to recognize why this fear is an illusion.  Peel away the layers.  Be more selective about your thoughts and the words you use.

Imagine how your life presents as as you recall all is well already.  Sense the joy of laughter and the impact of self-recognition. Healing is a state of mind. The state of being is perfect.


Interview with Pamir Kiciman

Pamir Kiciman empowers people in roles as a Life Enrichment educator and founder of Oasis Reiki in South Florida, U.S.A. He spent the last 15 years training in energy medicine, holistic health, intentional healing, meditation, spiritual psychology and self-healing models. I grew aware of his work though a blog carnival. I interview him on self-healing transformation.

Pamir, your work is inspirational. What process led you to realize you are a healer?

This is probably my favorite question. Prior to being a healer, I was involved and educated in the literary and dramatic arts. I spent 20 years in theater and studied world literature and arts from a humanistic and experiential perspective. This was my grounding in understanding what it is to be human. That, and my own life choices gave me a unique perspective; something like a triple PhD in life! A lot of it was hedonistic and self-destructive. It was full tilt and I wouldn't replace it, but in the end my life became unsustainable. The suffering was too great.

There was a spontaneous dawning in my consciousness, which remained only that for about 5 years before I took any action. A guiding nudge finally lead me to the divine intervention I received through grace. I accepted this with abandon. It awakened my willpower and started a long healing and strenuous process. And it eventually changed my life irrevocably.

What have you learned about identity shifts?

I'm not certain that we change identities. As you put it Liara, we shift. The shift is about emerging, more than anything else. It's the emergence of all that you are, instead of only facets of a personality.

I was looking for my self through all my indulgences, and seeking unconditional love too. When I found both, my indulgences ceased and I realized both were already in me. Instead of the unhappy bohemian, there emerged a happy healer who had been there all along. I came into my fullness.

What does it require for a person to awaken to his or her true nature?

Each person's case is a little different, but also the same. Usually, pain is the prompt. If there are no consequences, we continue our misguided ways because we don't have the presence of mind to realize it eventually catches up with us. When pain reaches critical mass there are two choices: continue escapism and numbing the pain (which creates more pain, but unfortunately not always awakening), or pluck up your courage and step onto the path you're essentially choiceless to take.

I 'woke' up at age 33. Nearly 17 years later I'm still awakening and awake, all at the same time. What I mean by 'choiceless' is that if you don't now, you will at some point. The choice we do have is how we prolong or fast track it. Awaken we must, however. That is the setup.

When did you begin sensing and feeling energy more consciously?

I first started sensing energy in the creative process, especially on stage between myself and my fellow actors, the director and the rest of the production crew, as well as between the stage and the audience. I was very aware of the power of the stage and how it's received in the auditorium. Each place I performed, first order of business was to walk all over the stage, look up into the rafters, walk into the wings and backstage; always had to breathe in the space before making any creative choice.

The type of conscious sensing and feeling you're speaking of, began with formal sitting meditation. Because I had substantial personal healing ahead of me, there began an energetic relationship with my organs and body parts, emotions and thoughts. Then there was soul healing.

What triggered this "soul-healing"?

Reiki work expanded my sensitivity, together with other vibrational healing such as sound, crystals, flower essences, and communicating with nonphysicals and/or the spirit of living things like trees and animals. Regarding what triggered it, I started to meditate in the first place because it was part and parcel of the divine intervention made available to me. I couldn't exactly say "no" even as it was excruciating at first. As an FYI for non-meditators: Meditation is a complete solution.

How do you explain sensing personal vibration and other kinds of energy alignment or imbalance?

If we're honest with ourselves, we know when there's mis-alignment and imbalance. There are other factors like fear: for example, you may feel your job isn't energetically matched but are uncertain about changing it or creating your own.

Honesty can be hard to come by because it requires unwavering courage. For many it's easier to continue hiding. Someone I was once helping told me, "It's going to be way too much work for me to learn to love myself. I prefer to continue all my bad habits and surround myself with people who're a bad influence on me." She realized this in a single session and I never saw her again.

I don't know what she did with her insight. What we do with our insights is a personal responsibility. It's the old adage, can lead to water, but...

What advice do you offer people who would like to see and work with auras?

I prefer calling it a personal energy or ki field.

Here's my bottomline on developing such sensitivities: Find an authentic spiritual teaching and practice that is firmly rooted in perennial wisdom and go deep in living, applying and being it.

From there, receive any gifts that emerge with gratitude and most importantly, with humility. Don't seek gifts. Simply seek. Grow and evolve the self. The rest is candy.

How do you teach people to develop faith and trust in a semi-invisible energy process?

My orientation is always practice-based spirituality. Hearing truth has its place, if it's actually truth coming from a lectern or book. Eventually, the intellectual suspension of disbelief has to be transformed into visceral experience and knowing. When you practice, the object of your faith and trust simply shows up, undeniably.

Which aspects of your own transformation process are especially memorable?

This is tough to answer. It's like asking which aspects of Love do you love? My transformation gave me myself, my essence, I can't pick a favorite.

I can say this: The numinous became central to who I am, how I live and what I do. That memory is divine and eternal.

What do you sense is causing a widespread soul awakening and more heightened sensitivities?

It's cyclical. All the various information regarding 2012 is at play here. We are in an ascending age.

Which signs suggest body is merging with emotions and mind in a new consciousness?

There are many signs of a new consciousness from business to science, green awareness, social ethics, politics and in all spheres. It's slow, but we're moving into an inclusive model. The model that no longer serves is an exclusive one.

Old power says "power over." New empowerment says "power with."

Altruism, stewardship and better distribution of equality and resources are essential to our survival. As the supposedly most intelligent species, we've certainly made our world untenable.

Share some lessons you have learned from clients.

My work gives me the opportunity for radical participation in humanity. I am a record-keeper for each person's story. It's said that if you've no one to tell your secrets, tell them to a tree for safe-keeping. I'm that tree.

I've learned that acknowledgment is crucial. Trust is central. Love is without question the most potent force. We share the same secrets. Personality is a covering. We're all ancient. Good prevails. Beauty is endless.

As you reflect on your dreams, what do you gain? Do they help cleanse your personal energy field?

This is one area I can learn from you Liara. I'm very good with the imaginal, but I haven't focused so much on dreamtime specifically. Many dreams are a mind dump, the cleansing you mention. When my dreams are significant, I always know and can interpret.

This suggests you will appreciate my forthcoming ebook called, Harness the Energy of Your Dreams. What additional remarks would you like to share here?

The quality of the questions we ask in large part determine the answers we receive.

Pamir, I appreciate the opportunity to share these insights with visitors. You inspire people to remember everything is energy and that thoughts of love are especially powerful self-heling tools. The simple things in life are so valuable. What a great reminder to focus more on them.

You've asked some great questions Liara, and I'm thankful because it's been thoroughly enjoyable and I've been enriched.

That feeling is mutual. As you imply, it is by taking responsibility for growth that you learn about the self and transcend thought form energies you outgrow.

I invite visitors to explore the wealth of wisdom available at Pamir's Reiki Help Blog: