Dr. Liara Covert
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Sunshine Coast, Queensland

   

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Entries in relationships (15)

Friday
Mar152019

7 Tips to promote wellness

The ideal vision of relationship harmony and optimum wellness appeals to many. Still, this is not everyone's reality.  We may work toward it, but sometimes obstacles seem to get in the way.

Consider this: we all encounter stress.  This is part of being human.  Whether we deny, recognize or deal with it, and the approaches we take, simply differ.  Stress isn’t just a feeling or a mental state; if we do not address it, it affects every area of our lives.  Beyond physical symptoms, stress can also have a huge impact on our emotions and general mood. (www.Stress.org describes some mental or emotional symptoms of mounting stress)

On a deeper level, its about energy flow or blockages. When we notice symptoms of stress, anxiety and depression, we have different options to decipher and cope, depending on the severity of the condition.  Different approaches can be complementary.

Consider 7 Tips to promote wellness

1. Participate in emotional release workshops

2. Join a mindfulness stress reduction program

3. Book breathwork Sessions

4. Engage in meditation

5. Stretch into yoga & holistic spiritual practices

6. Learn new things everyday (challenge the mind)

7. Commit to coaching involving relationship & soulwork 

Monday
Mar112019

The Secret to the Best Version

The secret to turning into the best version of ourselves is training the mind and senses to detect everything as energy first.  Imagine what happens as we automatically translate experience into a spectrum of feelings and emotions...  

So, the physical body registers all our experience as energy. The visual sense translates energy into pictures, the auditory sense registers vibes, the tactile sense registers pulses or hums, the olfactory sense tunes into moving waves and the palette registers high and low vibrations of all we consume or spit up.

All familiar and subtle senses are originally receiving vibration as light and sound language. Somehow, its common to forget about that.  Often, what happens from an early age, is that words and other languages are taught to rewire the brain, take focus away from original impressions. 

Now is the moment to get back to what feels natural. To do so, we invite ourselves to grow aware of the misperceptions that act as our filters to reality. When ready we shift away from the brain that is hard-wired for negativity to the brain that is hard-wired to perceive all energy as part of the same flow.  We choose which streams of energy to focus on and which to simply let go.  At some stage it hits, all emotions are equally valuable teachers and pointers to insight we are willing to see about ourselves and relationships. 

 “More we hide our feelings, the more they show. The more we deny our feelings, the more they grow." - Anonymous

Friday
Sep212018

5 key points on connection

Notice restlessness and discontent are symptoms of disconnection. This goes deeper than the physical disconnection you feel when your mobile phone, computer, internet or other technology is not working on your terms. Maybe you are feeling a range of confusing emotions that disturb peace of mind in relationships or other aspects of reality? What can you do to feel more at ease?

Consider retraining the mind, that is how and what you see as your reality. What happens as you shake up your sense of who you think you are and review discomfort from a different point of view? Ponder these five points about connection. How do your emotions and understanding of what is happening in your world change?

1. The nature of intimacy in your relationships mirrors love, acceptance, intimacy with yourself 
2. No one thing or organism exists on its own (we share the same water, air, light, etc.) 
3. No thing or organism acts on its own (everything is interconnected energy flow)
4. Every organism is a process understood by its actions (motion of allowing or resisting)
5. The behaviour of all organisms is only understood in relation to its environment

This said, reflect on fear, guilt, shame, anger and other examples of emotions you are feeling in relation to specific situations. How are these emotions pointers to another way of being more authentic (or living a mroe authentic life)?

Monday
Mar262018

5 Lessons from the Courage to be Disliked

Books that appear in our scope are guides on our path to greater fulfillment.Everything can be viewed as a teacher with a message when we are open to it.  Many people  list favorite spiritual books and such lists are often changing.

The Courage to be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga  is a book full of surprising lessons.  I read it in the airport recently while awaiting a connection. Its conversational style is engaging yet requires paying attention to keep track of changing points of view. Millions of copies sold in Asia already, reading the English translation invites discovery of why its popularity is growing. When ready, readers of Kishimi and Koga's book are invited to grow aware of their own reflections and projections.

 

It is like a modern take on Shunryu Suzuki's Zen Mind that incorporates what Fumitake Koga describes as "the shock value of Adlerian psychology." Alfred Adler was an Austrian medical doctor, psychotherapist, and founder of the school of "Individual Psychology." Adler viewed human beings as an individual whole. Along with Freud and Jung, Adler is viewed as one of three highly influential minds of psychology of the 19th century.

In a nutshell, the book unfolds through exchanges between a philosopher and student. The philosopher explains to his pupil how each human being exists to determine our own life, free from the limits of past experiences, doubts, and the expectations of others. The book invites readers reflect on what is deeply liberating, on what or whom allows us to reach inside ourselves to find the courage to change.  It is set up to invite readers to see through self-created limitations other people seem to place on us. Ponder these five lessons that stand out:

1. Accept you cannot please everyone

To say yes to everything and everyone, is setting yourself up for a fall. To be true to yourself means accepting how you feel, expressing your truth and accepting everyone is not going to agree with you or see the world in the same way you do. Agree to disagree and life is then much simpler.

2. Discover all relationship problems mirror inner conflict

The view offered is that we create relationships as a means to get to know ourselves.  This problems we think we have with others point to our unconscious resistance to accepting parts of our shadow.

3. See that seeking recognition is an ego trap

Instead of seeking recognition, pinpoint why you do not recognize yourself as you are, why you resists recognizing and celebrating what you have already achieved, or why you resist giving yourself recognition.

4. Discard other people's tasks

You are taught to live according to other people's views, desires, direction and percpetion of life pupose and experiences. Turns out, stepping back and recognizing who and what you truly live for is a thought-provoking and potentially life-transforming journey.

5. Trusting yourself and being confident are not the same

Feeling inferior or superior, making choices in life to reinforce related unconscious beliefs are stepping stones to growing aware of the bigger game that you are playing. No valid excuse exists for hiding from truth.  You only begin to see through and dismantle smokescreens when the ego becomes a friend and teacher. 

Monday
Nov132017

4 Tips to transform relationships

If you desire to change soething about your relationships, its helpful to realize you must begin with yourself.  Reflect on these 4 tips to transform your relationships by shifting your point of attention inward:

1. Notice relationships mirror beliefs: 

Your beliefs about relationships, men, women, children, pets, love and anything emerge as relationships. The beliefs each person holds prompt us to react and act  to support our growth and conscious awakening.  In order to experience anything or anyone you must first relate to it. For instance, the nature of relationships reflects what you are choosing to vibrate. Even if your partner is being faithful, if you vibrate distrust you will look for reasons to prove otherwise and you experience an echo of this.  Beliefs that govern your experiences and relationships point to subconscious core beliefs.  Since your relationships are based on them, you perpetuate a vicious circle until they are made conscious and healed.

2. Be accountable for all your qualities: 

Every quality you see in your partner, is your mirror. The more you dislike a certain quality, the more it is showing you a part of your consciousness that you are not acknowledging. For instance, if you dislike your partner's jealous nature, you will find that you too are jealous perhaps not of him or her but of others. If your partner's or child's competitiveness annoys you, this reveals you do not see competitiveness in yourself. If your partner's negativity or insecurities get you down, this reveals the same about you. The only reason that these qualities are annoying you is because they are also yours. As long as you do not acknowledge them as your own they will continue to frustrate you, while owning up to them allows you to grow.   You may find that even some positive qualities annoy you. For example, if your partner's overly kind and giving nature frustrates you, it reveals you want to be more generous but resist. Alternatively, your partners' ability to forgive may make you uneasy. See it as an opportunity to forgive. 

3. Own what frustrates you in others:

When your partner acts in ways that upset you, you too act in the same way, most likely not towards him or her but towards yourself and probably others. The more some behaviour frustrates you, the more it reflects a part of you that you are not owning. If your partner treats you with disrespect, look within yourself and see who you treat with similar disrespect, whether it be a friend, a family member or yourself. If your partner criticises you, you will find that you are critical of yourself and others. If your partner ignores your needs, you will find that you too ignore your own needs or those of others. Ultimately, you teach others how to treat you by how you treat yourself.

You may find that the quality you see in your partner appears to be the opposite of your own quality, but in fact it is the same quality expressed in a different way. It is still your mirror. For example, the introvert attracts the extrovert, the weak attracts the strong, the giving attracts the taking. Such seemingly opposite partners attract each other so that they can learn from each other and bring their own extreme quality into balance. In order to attract your opposite, you yourself have to be at the other end of the spectrum and so are unbalanced as far as that quality is concerned. Simply put, opposites attract in search of balance. When none of your qualities are at either extreme of the spectrum, then you can no longer attract its opposite.

4. Face the truth of all relationships: 

Emotionally and physically abusive relationships mirror qualities/ core beliefs like any other relationship. At the root of abusive relationships is a deep lack of self-worth in the abused partner. The only way to rise above such relationships is through the power of self-love.  The more you love yourself, the less you put up with any lesser behaviour toward you from others, the more you invite a mirror of self loving treatment.