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Entries in mid-life crisis (3)

Wednesday
Mar132019

5 steps to decode emotions

Growing aware of suppressed emotions is a step toward freedom that can be experienced in emotional release. We are often conditioned to keep our true feelings to ourselves rather than express how we feel in the moment. Cathartic breathwork psychotherapy, emotional release technique (ERT) and freedom release technique (FRT) all draw from the power of intuition to guide us to freedom.  Consider 5 tips to decode our emotions:

1) Understand our deepest fears

We each experience a range of emotions on a spectrum. To be willing to explore how we feel, implies writing or journal or taking other steps to make conscious what the emotional upheaval is really about.

2) Be willing to let go of what we cannot control

When patient, we can uncover blessings and wisdom within sources of apparent discomfort.  All emotions can be understood as a gauge as to whether you are being truly honest or inauthentic.

3) Reframe mid-life crisis

One view is that every 21 years, the body experiences emotional upheavals that may take shape as growing annoyances, then perceived mid-life crisis or really shake up our paradigm.  We can view and feel this as an internal build up or blocks of energy. This is an invitation to pay attention, uncover and release suppressed emotions before the volcano erupts into something more serious.

4) Live life to the fullest

Discover what it is to feel the gamut of emotions.  We need not focus on emotional trauma.  Making the unconscious conscious empowers us to see beyond it. Come what may, we can all refer to emotions as a guide to greater wellness and optimum living. We always have a choice about how to perceive and experience life.

5) Find support

If relevant, be open to the services, healers and other guidance that presents.  Everything is synchronicity when it comes to decoding our emotions.  Ask and it is given. Be open-minded and see what already presents.

Tuesday
Sep112018

10 Tips to rendez-vous with destiny

A popular question that arises is how to catch up with destiny. Many people admit they view destiny as a kind of carrot at the end of a fishing line they feel they are often chasing. Although life purpose may change at different life stages, destiny is viewed as your unique and ultimate reason for being. Does this confuse you? You may be asking what you need to do, where to go, to feel at ease or in harmony with yourself. Reflect on 10 tips to r.d.v. with your destiny: 

1. Recognize your 'comfort zone' 

This entails recognizing your comfort zone in different areas of your life and how this limits you.  In general, the more rigid your (or your kids') schedule, the more comfort zones you have created.  If you are caring for other people, (i.e., relations, pets or other friends), the more jam-packed their routine, the more you fear letting go of control, the more you fear spontaneity, fear creating something new, lasting and enriching in your life or feel uncomfortable stepping into the unfamilliar.  Conscious awareness of why you do things greatly empowers you to shift reality.

2. Find the courage to heal

Comfort zones do not just happen.  They are a symptom of repressed/ suppressed negative emotions, unhealed pain and mental suffering. Finding courage to heal implies the willingness to grow aware of triggers and habits (why these arise), and how you numb out or shift focus from the root cause of discomfort. This involves exploring character traits, possible co-dependence, people-pleasing, unconscious self-sabotage, self-hate or rejection and fear-based action.  Discover what blocks true intimacy, connnection, personal fulfillment & professional success. 

3. Stretch yourself

Watch what unfolds as you envision yourself beyond your current circumstances.  Depending on your readiness, this could mean taking up a course or training, shifting into a new vocation, moving geographically, building a dream home, renovating something, changing entourage, or generally building a new foundation from where to grow. Every instance you see things differently, even taking a new route to work, choosing to wear more comfortable shoes, or openly confiding intimate details of your life without fear of vulnerability, you are tasting your destiny. Every moment, you can take steps to find your way. Consider working with a mentor.

4. Adopt an optimistic attitude

The moment is ripe to function with an optimistic attitude. Listen to your thoughts and words more closely. How often do you hear yourself saying, "this is not possible because..." or "the time is not right because...?" Be aware of how often you talk yourself out of what you want, what feels right or do not even allow yourself to explore possibilities beyond habit. Who is really in charge here? Being optimistic is part of the process of reclaiming personal power you gave away. Imagine reclaiming it and letting go of what holds you back. How does your perception shift?

5. Stop acting to appease others

Whether or not its obvious to you at this stage, you are not always acting based on your own heart-felt desires and dreams.  Self-acceptance does not depend on the nature and intensity of your fitness practices or the amount of what you accomplish in the eyes of family or mentors and role models you admire. As you recognize and stop unconscious behaviours that arise to appease others, you move into that place where you do things you only used to speak or dream about.  

6. Tap into unused potential

Imagine the possibility you only use a fraction of your innate intelligence, wisdom and resources.  Remind yourself the moment is ripe to access diverse skills and abilities that you habitually fail to see and use. Know and accept that within you are powers that facilitate everything imaginable you could become. Simply get out of your own way. Talking to yourself can help you clarify what you wish to do or create in life.  Where you are is perfect for this moment and you are catching up with dreams realized by a future version of you watching your progress. 

7. Set new goals

Watch what happens as you give up complacency in favor of extending your wings more fully, of raising the bar for yourself.  Imagine what it feels like to blossom beyond self-created boundaries.  Set new goals that draw out the best in you.  Work toward those things that enable you to develop a sense of mastery and peak performance.  Begin with a pad of paper, writing implement and undivided attention.  Unleash the unthinkable. Let your fingers do the talking.

8. Imagine no limitations

Take a few moments to imagine you have no limitations in terms of money, no time constraints, health issues, no obstacles to contacts, experience, knowledge or education. That is, imagine whatever you write is possible for you, provided you want it genuinely and are willing to make whatever efforts and sacrifices are necessary.  This implies seeing through mid-life crisis. Go on, surprise yourself.  What would it look like?

9. Build unshakable self-confidence

It may surprise you but the mere act of writing dreams on paper takes a concept to the next level while building your self-confidence. Focusing physical and mental energy on specific ideas gives them life.  The process of adding detail and taking steps to realize it generates a greater sense of personal power and ability.  This is not ego-driven arrogance or pride but heartfelt love of life. 

 10.  Achieve peak performance

Achieving peak performance happens as you clarify goals, challenge and revise your own standards, invite feedback, do not take things personally, give yourself heart and soul to what enables you to feel harmony within yourself.  This may seem like a big ask or a tall order.  Yet, it happens naturally when you are in a state of flow because you function with extraordinary energy and clarity. Everything simply comes together. Uncover what you are uniquely qualified to do and be and even the stranger you speak to in passing reveals a connection to where you are heading. Making a meaningful and lasting impact on the world begins with cracking the shield you have build oer your own heart.  Are you ready to be proactive? Let the Soul be your pilot.

Tuesday
Sep042018

Mid-life crisis or priceless gift?

As Taylor Swift echoes in her song Blank Space, crisis can be a perfect storm or a turning point. You may observe what appears to be 'out-of-character' behaviour in people around you in their twenties, thirties, forties, fifties or older.  You may feel an unshakable restlessness and have urges to act out your Wildest Dreams; take up a unique hobby, travel or move house based on a hunch, detox, radically change diet or the identity you present to others.  You may wonder what the blazes is going on? Other than turning to pop culture to get a handle on it, keep this in mind;

1. Reflect on emotions

About every 20 years of human life, emotions that are not healed and released from early trauma surface and take shape as adversity or challenges that cannot be ignored. It may be a health issue, family drama, relationship break-up, career setback or hiatus. You may not connect outside events with inner turmoil. Its common to dwell on the negative or work to 'tackle' the problem rather that see an opportunity to heal and feel the way into a less stressful phase of life.

2. Reframe the perceived 'mid-life crisis'

At some stage, you may grow aware of deep dissatisfaction. It may seem to relate to aging, being bored with a longstanding relationship or marriage, a feeling you are 'losing your touch' or edge, feeling disconnected, like you have accomplished what you have set out to do with kids, family, career or other things and fear what's next. Restlessness or disappointment may prompt you to seek external sources of pleasure, such as; fast cars, boats, exotic vacations, technology, drugs, younger partners or behaviours that push the envelope of what you once saw as rational, safe or acceptable.  This can happen at any age, but it is usually when people have money to do what they used to think they could not afford. Such behaviour shifts focus away from suffering. Ask is new behaviour going to last? Do you love feeling breathless? Is this a game? Or, is it time to accept lasting happiness is unrelated to the external?

3. Uncover the gift

What if as Inspirational Mentors  Allan and Barbara Pease echo, different ways exist to access your answer? What if every life choice you make is a turning point where you decide how and what to feel, imagine and create? What if you act more consciously to align choices with your core values? What if seeing yourself and the world differently could guide you to optimum living? What if you could engage in business for good, create impact, connection and joy by joining initiatives like Paul Dunn's B1G1?  What if you could begin right now, to shift gears, lifestyle, priorities, behaviours and goals of all sorts? What if being only solutions-oriented is missing something? What if rather than simply be inspired by James Bond or famous people you'd invite to dinner, you guide yourself to get Out of the Woods to organize visions, make them measurable and ground them differently?  Knowing this, if you feel drawn to a mentor, would you reach out?

How you present yourself to the world is a gift and the process of growing more authentic is also a gift. As Sia says, in her new song Nothing to Say- We have things to do and plans to make.  

Whether its getting a tattoo or body piercing, going on a pilgrimage, engaging in a thrill-seeking activity, shifting the nature or orientation of your business, whatever empowers you is on the path to listen to the heart. Watch what happens as you act on what enables you to feel more energized and shape your life around it.  This is congruence. This is creating a life of breakthroughs.  Remember what it is to be unstoppable in every area of your life.

Henry David Thorough reminds us, we are each "constantly invited to be who we are." What this feels like on the outside can be congruent with feeling harmony on the inside.  Brian Tracy echoes its up to you to tap into strength and resilience. When you are ready,  what you exist to be and do and be is beckoning. Make the most of who you are and what you know.  You are a gift to this world and yourself.  Take responsibility for your creation.  Go forward with enthusiasm.