The desire to control is a common unconscious phenomenon. Many people are unaware of their own driving force or what exists beneath it. Consider three revelations about control:
1. The effort to control arises due to fear.
In other words, control is a defence mechanism. As you identify the fear, question its validity. Ask yourself, Is it true? If you’re afraid the night will be ruined, question that assumption.
2. Control is a result of being attached to a specific outcome (as if we always know what is best).
As we trust that we’re okay no matter what circumstances unfold, no need arises to micromanage the universe. We let go, open ourselves to all sorts of unforeseen possibilities that are unseen when we’re attached to one “right” path. What can you directly influence? Is your focus here? Or are you in someone else’s business? When we’re trying to control things outside of our own sphere, things fall apart rather than together.
3. The energy of control is less powerful than surrender.
When our vision gets very narrow and focused, our breath goes shallow, adrenaline is pumping and the heart rate increases. It almost always does. Let that feeling of freedom guide us toward loosening our grip. The more we want something, the more we are conditioned to hold on. yet letting go results in something beautiful.