Dream Builders

How many people have you met who don't feel as if they can do anything without their partner? Ever heard the term 'clingy?' Maybe you've been afraid to be alone.  Maybe you're unaware how needy you are, or sense a desire to change.  If you have ever felt "needy," it would be useful to learn more about your needs and those of others.  Consider these tips to help overcome your illusion of neediness:

1) Find the humor in it.  Ever hear an employee say, "I'm indispensible!" That attitude tends to reflect a certain ignorance about reality.  Other people could almost always take your place.  Loosen up! Find reasons to laugh at yourself and your views of your relationships.  What caused you to feel indispensible? Step outside that perspective.  How do you make a unique contributions to the world?

2)  Look beyond peer pressure.  Would insecurity help to explain your feeling of having to be with someone? Reasons behind your belief require attention.  If you fear being dumped, detached or abandoned, its in your interest to sort through these issues.  Fears are always based on past experience or assumption. Whatever anyone else did to you or to someone you know is irrelevant to the future. 

3) Break it down.  Reflect on your feelings.  What do they tell you about your self-acceptance?  If you uncover pain, guilt, shame, doubt or parallel emotions, this may reveal low esteem.  Since you attract what you think about, you may find you repeatedly attract people who reinforce negative feelings.  Move instead to affirm loving thoughts about yourself and others.  You'll discover like-minded souls who will help you to heal.  Its desirable to manage growth in steps, at  your own pace.

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